blondieenyc

These UK publications are like fucking superheroes.  They jump on the news like white on rice.  They’ll even fly to St. Lucia to catch up with Winehouse! I’m so jealous! So it’s no surprise that A News of the Worldreporter flew all the way to where Amy’s been shacked up vacationing.  An expected booze filled, drug induced, skanky Wino is what I would expect if my ass flew all of the way over.  Instead it was the opposite! Refund!

The reporter apparently found a love struck and “allegedly” drug free Wino.  During a long chat with the reporter, Amy exclaimed:

“I’ve finally escaped from hell. I’m in love again and I don’t need drugs. Look at me, I’m glowing!”

That’s not her glowing.  That’s the crack residue leaking through her pores from the previous months and years of usage.  Come on!  As previously dished, her new man is Josh Bowman.  He’s apparently ritzy, uptown, and fancy.  She met this bitch at the resort she is currently terrorizing.  He’s there with Grandma and I’m sure she really approves of this disaster!

And apparently hiding her lust for Josh isn’t a problem.  The reporter explains that:

“…she’s totally unabashed as everyone watches her drag him into the bushes.”

So what about BLAAAAAAKE?!?! Apparently Josh has opened her eyes to seeing what Blake really is…to her a drug addicted douche, to me a loyal and lovely soul.  Wino said: 

“He (Josh) couldn’t be more different from my husband, which is not a bad thing. Blake looks like me, a right mess. But Josh is all handsome and clean and that’s what I love about him… I’m just here on my own, happy and having a good time with Josh. I’ll deal with Blake when I get back. But our whole marriage was based on doing drugs.”

She also contradicts earlier reports claiming she had a wonderful sex life with Blake.  She now insists and slams her hubby by claiming he was ‘rubbish in bed’.  Look at our mouthy Wino! She’s actually forming sentences!

She also goes on to admit she knew her drug problem was leading her on a path to the undertaker:

“Before I came out here I looked at a photo of myself in the newspaper and was horrified. My skin was a spotty mess and I was so pale and skinny. I thought to myself, ‘Girl, you got to sort yourself out or you’ll be dead soon.’ I was depressed, doing drugs and had no life in me at all. Coming here has changed everything. We’re having a great time together along with all Josh’s family and friends and I just don’t want the holiday to end.”

The holiday’s been over since fucking January 1st.  It’s now January 12th.  Oh my little Wino, you’re so crazy!

And just when she started shit talking Blake, Blaaaake has become a bad ass and filed for divorce from the singer.  Unfortch for our wino, they do NOT have a pre-nup.  Blaaaake’s laughing straight to the bank with this! She’s also cheated on his ass one time officially, although we also know more relationships existed.  He’s going after the money!

Blake Incarcerated’s lawyer, Henri Brandman, says that Blaaaaaaaake had instructed him to launch the divorce action on the grounds of Amy’s adultery.  FIIIIIIIGHT!

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

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