Jan 12 2009
The Things Madonna Will Do & Spend On To Look Young
Madonna is a glass of Kabbalah water away from looking like a zombie. Let’s face it, yes it’s like totally bad ass to be all muscle and no fat, but when you start looking like the Crypt Keeper, nature’s naturally telling you something. Apparently, Madonna must think her ass looks good because she’s not ceasing the spending money on looking good anytime soon.
The latest claims that Madonna has started a salmon “retox” regimen in order to appear younger. Of course since she has all of the money in the world, she hired a team of experts to help her with the program.
A source says:
“The new ‘retox’ means she has got a more cardio-intensive gym regime and a diet overhaul. She will also be eating a lot more salmon as it’s got age-defying properties. Her aim is to knock 12 years off her appearance.”
Why? She’s fucking 50. She’s not 35 or 40. Everyone knows bitch is 50. Alongside this ridiculousness, she also reportedly spends over $120Ka year on bottles of “specially blessed” Kabbalah water. It apparently helps keep you looking “fresh and young.” One year’s worth of Madonna’s fucktard water could save my ass from debt.
A source close to Madonna says:
“Madonna drinks a lot of water - that’s one of her fitness secrets. And Kabbalah water is the only stuff she will touch.”
OMG fish and water makes me want to puke. I guess because whenever I think of fish, I automatically envision SaMAN going to town on Hohan’s fire pubies. I wonder if that’s what keeps SaMAN so thin?
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