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When you’re one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends and you’re on the record trash talking him, that shit will ultimately bite you in the fake titty ass! With rumors circulating about each of the girls either finding new guys, moving out, Hef’s got new girlfriends, yada yada yada…Kendra Wilkinson is the first Girl Next Door to go on the record and say not so nice things about her former fakeboyfriend.  

She basically talks about what really went on at the mansion and what was hidden from TV.  That’s the fucking case with everything on TV so please.  Let’s pity Kendra because she tells us unlike how things were depicted on their reality show, The Girls Next Door, life wasn’t always so pleasant.  Oh, boo hoo.  You live in a rich gorgeous mansion and party with celebrities … so what if you have to slob a saggy sack now and then? Aren’t these girls used to sucking and fucking their way to the top?

The 23-year-old (God, I’m almost her age?) tells UsWeekly:

“I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it. Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates.”

And she did sexy times with Hef.  Vomit.  In.  My.  Mouth.  Does that guy have his own personal chamber full of Viagra?

According to Kendra, the eldest and least memorable girlfriend, Bridget Marquardt, never cheated on the Playboy king:

“Bridget told me that she’s been faithful all these years, and I was like, ‘How the hell can you do that?’ I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being.”

Holly Madison was apparently faithful to until she met that fucktard Vegas magic freak, Criss Angel.  

Kendra says that her time with Hef was very limited:

“The most we kind of say to each other is, ‘I love you,’ ‘Love you too,’ ‘I hope you have a good day,’ ‘Did you have a good day?’ “

She also doesn’t shut her blubber mouf there.  Can you believe it? She claims Hef was controlling.  Noooo way.  This from a guy who fucks at least 50 blonde fake tittied bitches a week? Kendra says living with him was:

“way more strict than my life has ever been.”

Strict? They strut around in literal panty floss and titty tassels, and that’s strict? Kendra says it would drive her “insane” that staff members would track where the girls would go.  They’d mark down the time they left and returned to the mansion.  Hef would review that shit each morning.  WTF is this? A bunny like naked hell? Hitler Hefner?

Another revealed fact is that the girls were not allowed to spend holidays away from the mansion. They did, however, get paid an allowance of $1,000 a week.  Oh, that’s such a TERRIBLE life.  Getting paid to walk around naked and kiss an old man on the cheek.

Kendra says:

“I hate putting my hand out, but we couldn’t have jobs other than getting appearance fees. Hef was kind of like my best friend, but a sugar daddy at the same time … Hef made me feel beautiful. Now I’m totally against [Hefner’s] way of life, with three girlfriends and all of that.”

Say goodbye to your career now, Kendra…wait, career? Who am I kidding?

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

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