blondieenyc

Ah the most amazing show on television continues with this week centering in on Shawn.  You’ll see why later.  Basically the show starts off by showing how all of these tool bags are still tool bags…flexing, running around in manties (man panties), and all of that good stuff.

So we begin with a conversation between Shawn and Josh.  All of the guys are basically talking about their girlfriends and rating them.  Shawn says he rates Jaimee a 9 in bed and asks Josh how Ashley rates to which he replies a 6.  This then leads into Shawn poking fun at Ashley’s weight

This bitch is lucky that actual pussy regardless of shape and size let’s him stick it in.  I think even a blow-up doll would come to life and reject this kid’s ass.  This conversation then leads to the question of Jenna’s chastity.  Which she has none.  She’s had three sex partners, all black and this somehow becomes relevant and shocking to everyone. 

Everyone’s called to the therapy room where the couples will witness a hidden camera taping them either rejecting or accepting a make-up artist’s advances.  Subject: FIDELITY.  I doubt anyone on this show can even spell that shit.  Here’s how each of the guys did:

 Matsuflex: GUILTY. Mega: Passes.

Tommy: Passes.

Celebrity: DOH! … Cameron starts crying like a blubbering idiot claiming it’s too hard to watch because kissing is “so sacred” to her.  Nevermind a peen in a vagine, which is what Celebrity really had plans for.  This is the best part because Celebrity starts referring to himself in the third person, basically tells her she knows the deal, but then promises to change.  He also now refers to himself as his real name: CLARENCE.  Straight up hood.  Confused? Me too.

Josh: PASSES, but his girlfriend will have his ass for dessert with that comment.

Joey: FAILS.  He tells the make-up artist that he’s serious with his girlfriend “in a way.” They do exchange info, but when Ashley sees this, he swears up and down that he wasn’t planning on further communication.  Yeah, okay. Ashley obviously doesn’t believe it. But she sucks…you’ll see why.

 Robert: FAILS. Aside from the crotch and peen bumping, bitch also got his number

And then my favorite of the episode.  Shawn.

FAILS BIG TIME.  Each of the guys were hit on by the make-up artist first, but Shawn just jumps right in and asks her out before she even makes the attempt.  He starts apologizing, acting shocked, calling himself the biggest tool, and as he’s attempting to right the major wrong to Jaimee, a blonde petite woman comes a walkin’ in.

 Meet Shawn’s girlfriend, Aida, of six years.  She comes in and tells Jaimee that she’s in her seat.  Jaimee claims she only knows Aida as Shawn’s “psycho ex-girlfriend.” 

Shawn goes into an explanation that things got bad with Aida a few months ago and that’s when he started dating Jaimee. Bitch has only been dating this tool for a few months? REFUND! Which she does.  Shawn basically chooses Aida.  She gets up, gives up her seat to Aida, and tells Shawn he’s “Dead to her.” Ouchie.  Sure he doesn’t give a fuck because now he’s got more time to gel his hair to perfection each morning.

So now Aida’s in and Jaimee’s out…good for her.  Who’d want to be involved with this bag of douche? Shawn and Aida sit down with counselor Trina to discuss the events.  Don’t know why this fucktard was so shocked to see this bitch.  How was he going to explain this one over to her when this shit aired? Actually, I bet you Aida’s in on this.  She’s a thong away from stripping for a living so it makes sense to get some camera time.  The counselor seems happy when Shawn’s no longer lying because you can’t progress in therapy if you keep secrets.  Ummm if this bitch didn’t show up this gel freak wasn’t going to fess up so what the fuck.  He tells Aida he’s lucky to have her back in his life and she gives him one last chance.  haha.  Yeah, I know.  It’s probably been a million by now. 

The guys are all back in their little shitty living discussing how they look like Angels compared to Shawn when Shawn walks in and tells his fellow toolbags that “Let’s concentrate on the positive thing: I did have two hot girlfriends at one point.”

In the girls’ house, Aida arrives much to the rest of the girls dismay.  Margo the big mouth one keeps talking shit to her claiming she has no right to be there anymore and thinks Aida think she’s better than the rest of the girls here.  Yeah, yawn. 

The next day comes a new challenge: a Tango competition. They each have to perform the tango with their own moves thrown in.  Exactly.  Trainwrecks on TV! The duos:

Each team has thought up a name for their tango version.  INTELLIGENCE.  All of these people are just completely in tune with reality.  By the way, these names have to do with their relationships, not their dances.  I’m surprised one of the douche’s didn’t come up with “Suck on Deez Nutz Tango” because we all know the girls would put up with it after complaining for a minute.  Celebrity comes back to life after he performs a “one-man show” and basically leaves his girlfriend looking like a prop. The Top 3 are:

And the winners again are Matsuflex and Jenna. They get their own room for the night where they don’t even fuck.  Yes, normally I would think this dumb, but Jenna denying Matsu sex is probably the smartest thing I’ve seen in a while.  Plus them winning gets all of the other guys pissed off because nothing’s going on while they claim their manhood could go for hours and Robert claims he’d put ”ears by ankles.” Yeah, I threw up, too.

Ending result:

We’re all graced to see Matsu in the morning saying nothing happened in his manties.  I know this is total creamer in your pants when we’re provided with beauty and elegance such as this.

The bottom three are pretty much expected: Celebrity, Shawn, and Joey. 

With…

Joey getting the boot and hocking up some tears to get Ashley to leave with him.  Outside he weeps to her and tells her this experience has made him realize what a dick he’s been, that he loves her, and wants to be with her forever.  Ashley was SO fucking bad ass on this show claiming this was the last chance, but guess what? Who leaves with Joey? You don’t say! I can’t blame her.  I guess when you’re an ugly pathetic mess who lets douches run the show, you gotta keep what you can get.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

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