Jan 23 2009
WTF!!! This Is True?!: He-She Holds People Hostage
Look at this poor guy girl. If you think I’m messing with you that this thing is a girl, you’re wrong. Meet Jessica Parker, not to be confused with Sarah Jessica Parker although I’m sure she’s lusting over that hot beyatches fashion.
A 24-year-old New Hampshire native, looks like Miss Parker got a little upset on Thursday morning. So upset that she held people at knife point against their will in her apartment. Prior to this act, Jess stole some stuff from a store, ran from the police, and then held these ho’s in her apartment hostage so they wouldn’t give her up to the cops.
However, the power of technology being what it is, one of the hostage’s sent a text message to authorities letting them in on the situation. Cops arrived on scene shortly after.
I have love for this he-she. I’m unsure if she reminds me of a young Winehouse in her hey day or I want to pull a Cher and remake this Tai who actually looks like Elton from Clueless. I know this is next to impossible, but all I want to do is clean up the herp on her lip, go Sinead O’Connor on her ass and shave it all off, and perhaps give her lessons in posture and fashion. I’d then like to see her succeed as a professional Madam. Perhaps a fling with Carrot Top or Andy Dick would benefit her. This is your brain on drugs, kids.
-Cw
