Feb 10 2009
Michael Phelp’s Favorite Number Is Eight & Ironically Eight Arrests Have Been Made Because Of Bong Gate
If I ever consider moving to the South, remind me to take a look at the following story, hit myself in the back of the head, and check into a mental institution.
Down in Columbia, South Carolina people are a little too serious for my liking. If you remember, this is where the whole Michael Phelps bong picture was taken during a college party. Sheriff Leon Lott was taking a lot of shit for only going after Phelps so in order to establish a bad ass reputation, what did he do? GO AFTER THE WHOLE PARTY.
Investigators have decided to expand the case to more than just Phelps with eight arrests having been made thus far. Seven for drug possession and one for distribution. Shit, I used to toke in my college dorm. Who knew a little toke could possibly get you in the poke?
You know, up here we’d get a slap on the ass and have to attend some bull shit rehab course for like a week. In South Carolina, you get butt raped for it. I bet whatever bitch snapped the shot is getting a lot of shit now! Fortunately for Phelps, he hasn’t been charged yet.
And to keep this whole thing going, police have even confiscated the bong. Why was it so easy to find? Because the owner being the genius that he is decided to try and sell it on EBay for $100K. GENIUSES the swimmer hangs out with, I tell you! And I guarantee some dumb bitch would have bought it in hopes of extracting Phelps DNA and somehow creating sperm out of it. Bitches are crazy, I don’t doubt it!
Naturally, the Governor of SC, Mark Sanford was asked whether Phelps should be prosecuted, he said:
“I don’t see what it gets at this point.”
At least there’s one semi smart person in South Carolina.
-C
Source: WISTV
