Feb 11 2009
A-Rod Won’t Be Prosecuted
I’m pretty much over this Alex RoIDriguez talk because the guy went on TV, apologized, and that’s basically all he could have done. Yeah, bitch lied about using in the past but that’s because he probably thought he was going to get away with it since those records were confidential and methinks Madonna’s snatch hypnotized a bitch.
Anyway, there were some reports saying that The House Committee on Oversight and Reform wanted A-Roid to come to Congress to state that he did in fact abuse steroids in the past. However, the Committee has since took a chill pill, jacked each other off, and changed their mind, giving the slugger the guilt trip talk saying how disappointed in him they are. They also say there are more important things to worry about at the moment. Yeah, I’ll say. A statement from Representative Edolphus Towns reads:
“With unemployment in this country approaching double digits and our constituents’ very livelihoods being threatened by the nation’s economic woes, I intend to focus on passing President Obama’s Economic Recovery legislation to get Americans back to work to fix our sinking economy. The American people need leaders who will focus on stemming job losses and getting credit to flow in the marketplace before hearing from yet another person who cheated both himself and the game of baseball.
“The Committee began this investigation in the face of a weak and ineffective drug testing policy that compromised the integrity of Major League Baseball. Now that baseball is implementing one of the most comprehensive drug testing policies in major league sports, I look forward to monitoring how well the policy is working to ensure the credibility of our national pastime.”
Yada, yada, yada. They also want A-Rod to “turn a negative into positive” by joining anti-drug education campaigns for kids. He better tap his ass nicely, slap on a DARE t-shirt, head to the nearest school district, and thank God this is all he has to do to same some face.
-C
Source: Newsday
