blondieenyc

Ugh, another resuck is in the works and this time right after botching Beverly Hills 90210 with that poor excuse of a remake, 90210, they up and attack my Melrose Place! How can you recreate such beauty and elegance as Sydney? As drunk Allison? As whore Amanda?

Well, anyway because everyone is soooo creative in Hollywood now, Entertainment Weekly got some information on the updated Melrose Place on The CW.  So far no actors have been cast, but here is what they are expecting for the new characters and updated versions:

The new Jake and Amanda are… David Patterson and Ella Flynn. He’s Melrose royalty, the now-grown son of the original Jake, with the taut abs and thick black book to prove it. She’s his omnisexual sometime lover, a PR whiz whose tongue is as sharp as her stilettos.

The new Billy and Allison are… Jonah Miller and Riley Richmond. He’s a Kevin Smith wannabe whose obsession with his movies is unlikely to give him a happy ending with his sickly-sweet schoolteacher fiancee — especially when she takes a shine to the glamorous life he loathes.

The new Matt is… Auggie Kirkpatrick. A hunky hippie, this recovering alcoholic is willing to give everybody the benefit of the doubt. No word on whether the word sucker will be tattooed on Debbie Downer’s forehead, but come on…

The new Jane is… Lauren Bishop. Sort of an anti-Michael, this straight-arrow med student falls on such hard times that she’s forced to pull a Sydney and trade sexual favors for financial ones.

The new Sydney is… Violet Foster. Though she’s fresh off the turnip truck, this small-town teen already has a worldly-wise m.o.: play the sex kitten till you’re ready to bare your claws.

This….SUCKS! Jake to David Patterson? Did they call up the blind Governor from New York and ask his take?!

-C

Source: EW

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