Mar
31
2009
I’m going to assume that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long rekindled their hobby horse romance or this is about to be the most awkward movie ever created.
It’s being reported that Drew is set to star opposite her real life ex, Long in the upcoming chick flick Going the Distance. It revolves around a couple trying to make a long distance relationship work.
These two “broke up” in July, but recent sightings of the two together have sparked rumors that they may in fact be back together. Whatever, let’s just hope if they procreate that the kids don’t get his eyebrows and pasty skin or her lisp. But I love Drew…however, I can’t be biased…she’s still a hot piece.
-C
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Mar
31
2009
Let’s start with the terrible, terrible hair that her fucking six-year-old cousin must have cut. Did bitch put her finger in the nearest electric socket and pray for a miracle? Seriously, what the hell is her hair trying to do…run away?
Next make-up and smirk…really, just face in general. Bitch looks like she had a bit too much botox put in all of the right places because it looks as though her skin won’t move for days.
The dress. It’s a mess like the rest of her.
-C
Mar
31
2009
One may wonder how Lindsay Lohan paid for a $115,000 Maserati especially since she’s basically begged in every magazine for an acting gig. Sure, a nice dick sucking to the salesman, possibly secret prostitution, maybe even a nice little porn director helped you secure the ve-hick-le.
Well, of course she didn’t pay for that shit and ding ding ding a crazy porn director in fact somehow told himself to trust the trash and lent her the car. Dennis DeSantis is the asshole of the day. Aside from having a hot ride, he’s even produced some lovely classics like Origami So Horny and the rather creative Butt Sluts.
No word as to why this idiot lent Lindsay the car although TMZ was told there’s no sexual catch to drive the ride. He’s even angry about the car having to be repaired after her assistant bent that shit up…an estimated $10,000 in repairs. That’s total bull shit that there’s no catch to drive it. You know Dennis is currently shacked up in his probably hood rich apartment in Los Angeles penning the script to A Prairie Ho’s Companion or the even better, Fucky Friday.
-C
Source
Mar
31
2009
So was Kevin Bacon really that much of a girl when they cast him for Footloose? Sure it’s about a movie about a guy who likes to dance his ass off, but still.
As I reported last week, Zac Efron was up to remake the role, however, Zac has since took himself off the project claiming he doesn’t want to do any more musicals. So of course the the studio went into the bin of the three pretty IT guys of the moment, threw their hands in, and picked out Efron’s lesser self Chace Crawford’s name. You know that bin only consists of Efron, Crawford, & Robert Pattinson. Some dude over at E! says Crawford basically shook his ass like Ricky Martin and sang like fucking Clay Aiken while testing for the role this weekend. A source claims he did really well.
Are they going to change the name to Analoose? Think about it…think about it…good. All these people want is a pretty bitch in the role. I’d much rather watch Sacha Baron Cohen butt fucking the hell out of some stranger than watch a mangina prance around in tight jeans and secured hair gel for an hour-and-a-half. Have these guys not had a chance to look at Kevin Bacon’s current facial status? After doing that movie bitch landed hard on the face and landed an even harder wife to look at.
-C
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Mar
31
2009
Yeah, I really don’t have much to say when it comes to Bjork in this category and that’s mainly because what bitch is wearing is considered tame for what she usually dons. However, it’s still unfortunate. Still I don’t understand the ski-esque goggles, the midget purse, the denim I don’t even know how to explain that, and the God awful tights. So, no, Bjork, I have nothing to say to you about that at all.
Mar
31
2009
No surprise here that the MPAA found Sacha Baron Cohen’s first cut of his new docu-flick Bruno terribly graphic that they gave it an NC-17 rating. Basically the MPAA are just a bunch of lame asses that shutter at the image of gay people getting it on.
So what are those scenes that were considered “objectionable”?:
“one in which Bruno — a gay Austrian fashionista played by Baron Cohen — appears to have anal sex with a man on camera. In another, the actor goes on a hunting trip and sneaks naked into the tent of one of the fellow hunters, an unsuspecting non-actor.”
Okay so shit like Hostel where they cut heads off and stab people in the vagina gets an “R” so that’s okay for kids to see with parents, but God forbid they ::CRINGES:: know that people are naked under clothes…slap an NC-17 rating on that ass. Universal says they are refusing to release the movie with that rating, so it looks as though the funny man will have to return to the editing room to make changes.
Doubt the guy’s going to have a problem. Fucking Borat was R-rated and that shit was funny as hell with ballsacks in people’s faces and what have you. Wait—so what’s the difference?
-C
Source
Mar
31
2009
- Did She Take An Orange And Rub It All Over Herself?
- That’s Because She’s Being A Dumb Dumb
- The Lesbian From Buffy Pops Out A Kid
- Tom Cruise Marks What He Owns
- So Now Hatchet’s Getting Into The Ring?
- Like Unhappy Mother, Like Unhappy Daughter
- Total Babe Of Yesterday Says Buh Bye To Another Year
- Uh Oh, This Kid’s Going To Give Robert Pattinson A Run For His Money
- Two Weeks Ago She Looked Like A Hag, Now All Of A Sudden Her Face Is Refreshed
- And He Probably Sped 3000 MPH
- People Who Are Rich Should Never Encounter Such Unfortunate Events
- Yes, Because We All Need To Spend Money On This
Mar
30
2009
See (and hear) for yourselves!
Mar
30
2009
It’s the arms, the tattoos, the guitar, and the fact he’s not making those ridiculous over the top faces. Let’s face it, Jenny Aniston had herself a fine looking guy…and he’s been looking pretty sweet on his cruise the last few days. John Mayer, do it a little more like this on a routine basis, and you just may win my Internet heart.<3 hugznkissez
Mar
30
2009
Madonna needs to relax, take a pill, and fucking sleep to fix her zombie like face for a few days. Maybe take a vacation from saving Africa since bitch basically thinks she owns it. She also needs to set her daughter, Lola, up for an eyebrow waxing as soon as possible. She arrived in Africa this weekend, you know, to open up her net and catch another kid.
Unfortunately, bitch isn’t getting away so easily with snatching up a kid. Madge will have to show her face in a court in Malawi today to make the final payment on her new kid, Mercy James. However, the BIA’s mom mom isn’t going down without a fight…she’s trying to stop the adoption.
Lucy Chekechiwa who is the mother of three-year-old Mercy is telling papers that the Vadgesty is nothing more than a baby snatcher. She might have a case since I’m sure Baby Jesus Luz’s mother will sign on to that. Lucy said she made an agreement with the orphanage Lucy is shacking up with at then when the kid turned six, she’d come back home. Last time I read I though this kid’s parents were dead? I’m so confused. Lucy went on to say:
“Why doesn’t this singer pick other children? It is stealing. I want to go to court, I won’t let her go.”
Give. me. a. break. All Madonna has to do is whip out a nice wad of cash money, throw it in Lucy’s hands, and give her the death stare. Instant success. Not only is Lucy bothered by Madonna’s entry into Africa, but apparently some villagers are pissed she’s building a girls’ school around their areas. Girls school my ass. You know that shit is there for whenever Madonna wants to come back and baby snatch a new find.
Villagers are saying that they have been told many of their homes and gardens will be torn down in order for the school to exist. A government official said the villagers would be compensated by the singer’s foundation. When a journalist asked the singer if she was worried about all of this, she responded “NO!!!” and that’s because Madonna knows that with an icy stare or the snap of her fingers, everything will go her way regardless of the many African villagers who will be homeless, but don’t worry! Madonna is trying to SAVE AFRICA…so this makes sense…ruining the homes and gardens of those who, uh, live there.
-C
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