blondieenyc

  

So last night on American Idol the kids all performed hits from Motown. I have to say, aside from like three performances, everyone was really on target.  I even give Adam Lambert a close first with his performance of Tracks of My Tears right behind Allison Iraheta’s Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone.  All in all, I agreed with the judges greatly…although I didn’t think Danny Gokey wasn’t as amateurish as Simon said.  He brought some fun and energy to the stage proving that he can be a performer, he just has to find a comfort in doing so.  Okay, I’m being too nice.  Willy Wonka (you know, Scott) has gotta go.  I can’t take the voice anymore.  I seriously prayed that shit was going to end as soon as he began.  As for Awkward Hands (aka Megan Corkey) she really needs to stick a cork in it and sign up with a modeling agency.  Like Paula said, the camera loves her, but unfortunately music does not.  She’s awkward, ridiculous, and I couldn’t get past the stylist who dressed her in lame Forever 21 clothes, threw on some chunky accessories, threw her hair up, and put her on stage like she was going to prom.

As for the judges.  Business as usual with Simon even drawing a mustache on Paula’s face at the end…it’s the best she’s looked since Cold Hearted Snake.  Hunchie aka Kara actually had some decent advice and didn’t get on my nerves as much.  Randy continued “dawgin” and “dopin” it.  Gaycrest is a little dumb as usual…asking Scott how he could see the color of the drawing books Paula pulled out under the desk to give to Simon.  Dumbass, obviously that shit was planned and they told the kid what color it was.  That or Willy could just be taking us all for a ride, but God those are some unfortunate facial expressions he has if he’s really not blind.

By the way, the highlight for me was fucking Smokey Robinson.  Yes, he basically told every contestant to “do exactly what you just did!”, but I would give up my soul for that blue-eyed motha fucker.  I have an odd obsession with him and no, it’s not normal, but I’m still in love and infatuated with him and the fact that he’s a trooper who can still walk.  God bless his adorable soul<3 I don’t know how any of those peeps didn’t jump out into the audience and bow down to his feet.  I never said I was normal.

-Hot Mess of the Night: Toss-Up Between Paula Abdul and Megan Corkey.  With Paula, bitch was high on meds, but this time allowed herself to sport a pen mustache while giving critiques.  With Awkward Hands, her back up singers were more entertaining than she was and they outweighed her by like 70 LBS.

-Surprise of the Night: That no one jumped out into the audience to hug the shit out of Smokey.  Okay, no really Adam Lambert.  I’ve been giving this guy a lot of shit lately because frankly I don’t understand the appeal, but bitch decided to wear less make-up than I do and really made that song original and sang the shit out of it.

Click continue to go through.

 Justin Timberlake 5.0 Matt Giraud

When he got up from the piano to finish the rest of Let’s Get It On, what the hell do you think I wanted to do with him? Phenom.

Judges Thoughts : (R) “You have come up so far in this.” (K) ”I think there are lot of girls out there saying ‘yeah!’” (P) ”Great job. It’s like wearing a pair of worn jeans.(?)” *Note: Bitch is crazy (S) ”You are one of the front-runners now in this competition.”

Okay, if I can get past his mouth, the rest is beautiful.  His voice literally makes him jump up a few points on the 1-10 hotness scale.  The fact is this guy has been an underdog, but he keeps proving each week that he has what it takes to possibly win this competition.  He hit every note and I like that he included the piano, but also got up to actually give an entertaining performance.  SAFE.

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The Guy With The Pissed Off Wife Kris Allen

Kris sang How Sweet It Is.  That’s exactly what it was…that’s really all it was.  This guy’s gotta show us something because every week he just does something safe and all he gives us is “sweet.”

Judges Thoughts : (R) “It’s all good right now, baby.” (K) ”You did it. It wasn’t Marvin Gaye or James Taylor — it was Kris.” (P) ”It was brilliant. I’m just really proud of you.” (S) ”You haven’t gotten that swagger that others have. You need to believe in yourself.”

The only thing I’m confused about is the guitar.  Why is he playing it if we can’t hear it? This seems to be his case every week.  I also want him to give up the whole John Mayer stature.  Does anybody else think he has the same exact posture??? Simon commented on his posture like he was ”waiting at a bus stop.” Anyway, the peformance was good enough to keep him SAFE, but I think he’s got to take some more risk and chance himself a bit more.

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Willy Wonka Scott MacIntyre

You Can’t Hurry Love, but God did I want him to hurry so he would get off the stage.  It was God awful.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”I’m kind of agreeing with Simon. It was a very hotel kind of performance. You’re a better singer than that.” (K) ”I think you brought tempo tonight.” (P) ”I loved the beginning, the chord changes.” (S)  - “It wasn’t a great version of the song. It didn’t sound right. It was a bit cheap.”

Scott sucks.  Sorry, there, I said it.  He sucks so much that I don’t even have anything nice to say about him.  A for fucking effort trying to get some upbeat shit going on, but he was incredibly awful.  He was seriously as bad as the lounge singer on SNL.  I don’t quite understand how he’s still here.  I think after tonight he’s definitely in the bottom three with a high chance of going home.  BOTTOM THREE.

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Awkard Hands Megan Joy Corkrey

She sang For Once In My Life and seriously every week in my life I want this BIA gone.  Yes, she’s beautiful, we get it.  But bitch cannot sing and especially should never be allowed to sing on stage.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”Dude, that song was a train wreck for me.” (K) ”This was all over the place. The song took you over.” (P) ”Your stunning beauty just takes my breath away.” (S) ”It was horrible. I think you could be in serious trouble after tonight’s performance.”

I can’t stress it enough.  This girl was WORSE than last week and she had the flu then.  First of all, she went up there looking like a zombie Barbie doll donning some God awful Flinstone’s necklace.  Her dress was off of the clearance rack in Forever 21 and what was she attending her prom? The only thing good about this performance was the interesting eye make-up and the fact that she actually moved off of the stage—where she belongs permanently.  And God, the band and back-up singers fucking showed her who the boss was last night—they were far more entertaining! She’ll nab a modeling contract after this and if that doesn’t work out, she’ll always have a sturdy job in the porn business, although I’m sure she’ll have to get implants to make any type of money.  Unless she’s going for that whole underage look vibe which pedophiles love.  BOTTOM THREE.

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 Anoop-A-Loop Anoop Desai

Ooh Ooh Baby was Anoop’s choice and he did a rather good job of it.  Nothing phenomenal, nothing to jump all over about, but there was certainly nothing wrong with it.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”Turn it back up next week. Get the party on!” (K) ”Overall I think you did a pretty good job. You can sing. I want you to push it more.” (P) ”I want to see more confidence. You’re just doing a good job.” (S) ”I think you looked like you were half asleep. You’ve had two good weeks in a row.”

Yeah, Anoop’s gotta do something a little upbeat because bitch was dreary last night.  I was kind of falling asleep with him, although I think it did showcase his singing voice a bit more because the guy can actually sing.  I think he’s just trying to prove it too much now because at this point we get it.  Anyone is better than fucking Awkward Hands and Willy Wonka at this point.  SAFE.

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Who?Michael Sarver

Ugh, it was actually quite sad watching this guy scream and yell Ain’t Too Proud To Beg because I wanted to jump into the TV and beg him to stop it.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”The song was a little too big for you. You made it a little bit corny.” (K) ”At this point in the competition, it’s not about singing, it’s about artistry.” -*NOTE: Really? Because I could have sworn 8 years of this was about the singing?* (P)”Felt Las Vegas-loungy for me. You weren’t always reaching the notes.” (S) ”I couldn’t wait for it to end. Screaming and shouting. You have no chance of winning.”

This guy is down right shitty.  Yes, he was sick and shit, but he still sucked major ass.  He screamed at yelled at me from the TV screen and I didn’t like it one bit.  I’m telling you it’s all of the obese women down south crying their eyes out in a bucket of KFC that want this guy to win because they click their mouse to his performance every week.  And there are A LOT of obese women in this country so obvi he gets the votes.  This guy has no shot in winning AT ALL.  I actually think he was a waste to have in the top ten.  I’m about to say something terrible: I think I even would have chose FLAMINGO SHIT over him! BOTTOM THREE.

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Fantasia Hair Lil’ Rounds

Eek she’s been disappointing me lately and there was nothing HOT in Heatwave.

Judges Thoughts : (R) “The front of the song was a little tortured for me.” (K) ”You look great. We need more from you. It was screaming at parts.” (P) ”I disagree completely (with Randy and Kara). I think you owned that song.” (S) ”You did an authentic tribute to the sound of Motown. You could have had a moment. You’re still one of the best singers in the competition.”

Another screamer of the night.  Aside from the hair and outfit (she looked good), everything was a little lost and messy.  I think she was so stuck in keeping it authentic that she lost a little of herself in it and ultimately the song took over…and why does she over accentuate and over sing every single word? She’s lucky there were three other people worse than she was because I think she could have potentially landed herself in the bottom three.  Luckily we know she’s a good singer, but she’s got so show us a little bit something more to separate her from every other R&B singer out there.  SAFE.

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Maybelline Adam Lambert

He sang Tracks of My Tears and not only is that one of my favorite songs of all-time, but Adam’s delivery was one of my favorites of the night.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”Unbelievably hot!” (K) ”One of the best performances of the night.” (P) ”Very handsome and classy. You are exciting.” (S) ”It was THE best performance of the night. You tonight really have emerged as a star.”

I am thoroughly surprised I enjoyed Adam.  To be honest, right before the commercial they showed the new re-vamped Adam as like a really shitty version of Elvis Presley and I was like God, really? We’re going to go there? But I was impressed.  Not only did he hit every note, showcased his voice, and created a really original version of the song, but fucking SMOKEY gave him a standing O! I have to say that Adam looks so much better without all of that shit on his face and well, he did a great job.  SAFE.

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Iron Man Danny Gokey 

Get Ready for Danny because I didn’t think he did all that bad last night.  He had some fun and showed his performing side.

Judges Thoughts : (R) ”I love the energy and the feeling of it.” (K) ”I loved your personality tonight.” (P) ”You’re always reliable on giving us a first-class performance.” (S) ”It was clumsy and amateurish.”

Sure some of the moves were corny, but that didn’t stop Gokey for having some fun last night.  He didn’t take Smokey’s advice though, which kind of pissed me off because you don’t diss the Smokes! Anyway, I like how Danny interacted with the back-up singers and got the crowd involved.  Not his best performance, but he’s SAFE nonetheless.

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Angry Bitch I Love Allison Iraheta

 

Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone and that he must have been for Allison because she absolutely killed it last night.

Judges Thoughts: (R) ”You’re one of the dopest singers in the whole thing this season.” (K) ”America, you’ve got to vote for her. You can’t teach that.” (P) ”You are amazing.” (S) ”That was one of the best performances you’ve ever done.”

Honestly when Allison was in the bottom three last week I was pissed off because this bitch is so under the radar.  Not only is she the best FEMALE in the competition, but I think she’s even giving the top guys a run for their money.  Her voice is raw, unique, and her talent at 16-years-old is seriously so ridiculously out there that (agreeing with Kara) you simply can’t teach what she’s got.  She was on spot with every note, got all of the lyrics right, and put in some great personality to match the song.  SAFE.

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TOP 7 

• 1 - ALLISON   2 - ADAM   3 - MATT   4 - DANNY   5 - KRIS   6 -ANOOP   7 - LIL 

BOTTOM 3

Michael Sarver, Megan Joy Corkrey, & Scott MacIntyre

WITH MICHAEL SARVER going home.

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