blondieenyc

David Hasselhoff is a lot of things.  Famed terrible actor from Baywatch, drunk cheeseburger eater, and a messy divorce kind of guy.  One thing he and his spawn will never be = successful in the music business.  Has anyone ever heard some of the great classic tunes he recorded for Baywatch?  Or the more recent 2006 release Jump In My Car? How could you not? They’re glorious and brilliant.

Well, Hoff thinks his daughters, 18-year-old Taylor Ann and 16-year-old Hayley Amber, have what it takes to become the next princesses of pop.  Cue in Hulk Hogan and his hot mess of a son, Brooke. 

Meet the Hoff Drops…a name only daddy likes to call them.  He’s pairing them with top songwriters and spending loads of cash on studio time.  Because in a recession that’s what we should do…produce more and more useless shit to make our ears bleed.  According to Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills:

“David really wants it to work — it’s all he talks about. He will be advising them, but he’s looking for full-time management for them. He’s sorted it all out and he’s very hands-on.”

Best part of it all? The DJ continues:

“They’re recording a song together. It’s like Miley Cyrus-ish pop — it’s teen pop.”

We already have one of that bitch, do we really need two other mo’s from a Z-List father try to match that shit? That’s not even testing the waters of being semi-talented, that’s just plain ‘ol saying you want to make an easy buck the easiest, most possible way because the most creative that Miley bitch is the fact she includes her best friend Leslie in a song…hey! she’s just being Miley! Both better get a facial and the other better lay off the cheeseburgers if they even dream of getting some sort of attention.  Who am I kidding? Their dad is David fucking Hasselhoff and you don’t hassle the hoff.  But you can JUMP IN HIS CAR below

-C

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