blondieenyc

• Hot Mess of the Night: I didn’t even watch this last night, but I already know Miley Cyrus wins this category.

• Surprise of the Night: Using the save on Justin Timberlake’s long lost cousin.

So earlier this season Gaycrest told us about a big twist for the Top 12 of American Idol this year.  After untimely departures of people like Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry, the producers thought of a great idea! They created a “save” that the judges could use once to basically tell the American peeps–”hey you’re a bunch of fucktards for not voting for this person.”

And that save came in handy for Mr. Matt Giraud last night.  Unfortunately, he’ll probably be one of two sent home next week since two have to peace because of the save.  Honestly, this shit makes NO SENSE to me.  At this point in the game, everyone has their favorites regardless if they do shitty or not so what the fuck ever.  I’m happy they saved Matt, though.  Lil Weaves sucks fucking ass and deserved to be sent home last night.  Stupid fucker.  So let’s roll through how the show went down, shall we?

Gaycrest announces that the live tour begins July 5 in Portland, OR.  Then of course that God awful Ford commercial pops up.  Unfortunately I couldn’t find this fuckery nor did I want to search for it because I’m sure it was a ridiculous car wreck and a half.  Not only are we blinded by that, but of course we get a “live” group appearance to the song of Maniac.  I have a feeling this was a tragic performance.  I’m assuming since I have yet to view this spectacle, but I’m sure it’s been unnecessary like every other week.  And for a great product placement, a tape is shown of the Top 7 going to the premiere of 17 Again starring my hottie McProbablyGay Zac Efron.  Who also was apparently in the audience.

Down to business…finally! Ryan asks Allison to stand up…and my girl is SAFE! Woohoo! Maybelline’s next and of course that bitch is safe because he has the girl vote, the gay vote, AND the tranny vote.  Anoop stands up next and he’s sent to one of the stools.  I honestly thought his ass didn’t deserve to be there this week, but he’s as fun as roadkill so whatever.  After the commercial, Ryan introduces Miss Jennifer Hudson who performs If This Isn’t Love off of her debut album.  I actually really love this song and I give her a lot of credit to see her performing after that horrible family tragedy a couple of months ago.  I DO have a heart ya’ll.

Back to business.  Kris Allen and Lil Rounds both stand up.  Simon was unable to comment last night about Kris, so tonight he says: Kris, you were brilliant.  And Simon’s right because bitch gets to stay another week.  Lil’s fat ass gets sent next to Anoop so when my dad text me that I basically jumped for joy in the middle of a bar…classy.  Danny dons the glasses and it comes down between he and Matt.  Matt is sent to the bottom three while Gokester remains safe.

Ryan then sends one back to safety…Anoop.  Yawn.  Then our ears and eyes are butchered to death when Miley Cyrus’ pre-recorded performance singing The Climb hits the screen.  She is fucking GOD AWFUL.  I don’t get the appeal.  She’s ugly, she can’t sing, she’s talentless, she should be a spokesperson for Jiffy since it sounds like peanut butter is permanently attached to the roof of her mouth, and she sucks—I might have said that already.  Check out her like “totally uber rock” performance that even has her hair in a twist at the end.  LAME.

Lil’s ass should have been sent packing, but NO Matt is the one who was voted for least.  It’s now up to him to sing for his life, a reprise of Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman.  I don’t get why these bitches have to sing the song that put them in the bottom three.  Don’t you think they should all be able to choose which song they want to sing to possibly be saved? Kara and Paula look like idiots dancing when he starts to perform.

Simon says prior that they would save one out of the three—possibly.  And guess what? They save his ass, although Simon of course has to throw in that he’s not going to win the competition.  Then why save him??? I mean I love Matt, but if they don’t even think he has a shot, why are they wasting a save on him? And what’s even better? They all have to sing DISCO songs next week.  Isn’t that fucking lovely? Two will also be sent home packing.  I think Lil and her ass would constitute as those two.

-C

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