blondieenyc

Everyone get your favorite crack pipe out…one of your favorite crackheads is claiming she’s not a crackhead.  She like, really, really wants you to believe her, too.  Lindsay Lohan clearly took one too many bong hits the morning she gave this interview because B-I-T-C-H is D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L.

Be prepared to laugh out loud when I show you some HIGHlights from her interview with E! News.  Warning: this may make you pee your pants because it’s that downright funny.  This coming from a girl who wears t-shirts like this—->.

Lindsay needs to contact Britney’s LEAVE HER ALONEEEEE Chris guy because Lindsay just wants everyone to have some faith in her.

How does Lindz feel about reports claiming she fights with her carpet muncher?

“They need to stop saying we’re fighting. People telling lies about me to her and all this garbage. I’m really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work. The only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal.”

Translation:

Sucking on vagine is hard and sometimes we fight, but I get to go to clubs and suck secret dick in the back.  I’m just normal!

On being a coked up, alcohol coming out of her veins type of broad:

“I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”

Translation:

I drink.  I do drugs.  I lie.  The most creative I am is when I’m able to figure out how to snort coke and down a shot of vodka at the same time.

(more…)