blondieenyc

You either dead or blind if you haven’t heard about Miss California, Carrie Prejean.  She’s the dumb bitch who placed second at Miss USA due to her answer during the question round.  God, LIFE IS SO HARD BEING A PAGEANT QUEEN!

Anyway, Perez Hilton basically asked her a question about same-sex marriages and bitch basically told the gays and lesbos to go buy their own country.  Anyway, she received a lot of criticism shortly thereafter and now might as well be a spokesperson for FOX news since that’s the only network interviewing this garbage.

Surprise, surprise…last night she was being interviewed on Fox News to talk about her role as “traditional marriage” counselor.  How? Has she been married? Why is she a counselor???

While she’s already made her views on “marriage” quite clear, the runner up was snooty when it came to questions regarded civil unions.  Greta Van Susteren asked the questions…

VAN SUSTEREN: What is your thought on civil unions?

PREJEAN: My thought on civil unions? You know what, Greta? I don’t have the answers to everything. I’m not running for political office. I don’t have the answers to everything, you know, in the world out there.

But I think that there should be rights for people, you know, especially in California. I think that people that are homosexual should have some rights, you know, hospital rights, and things like that.

But I would like to be more educated on that, so when I do have a better answer for you, I will get back to you on that one.

But so far I just support traditional marriage, and that’s my main focus.

VAN SUSTEREN: What about adoption?

PREJEAN: Greta, I am focusing on marriage right now, not adoption, not civil unions, just traditional marriage, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to promote that.

Maybe home girl should stay off TV until she has better answers.  That or a better boob job.  Reports surfaced earlier this week that confirmed the Prejean had some boobies implanted.  Stupid because they’re still little pups, but I mean would her love Jesus approve? I mean it’s not okay for gays to get married, but it’s okay to alter your body and date a pot smokaaa? (She’s dating dolphin boy Phelps.) Someone smoked the Mary J way longer than she should have…courtesy her boyfriend. 

Even if I had a feeling that my family started the Swine flu, you wouldn’t see me blabbing about it to reporters and networks.  Maybe that’s because all of two people care what I have to say, but that’s still two more than Lisa Rinna’s got–I’ll TAKE IT.

So it doesn’t surprise me that Rinna has decided to make the Swine flu fashionable in her favor.  She swears that her family had that crap before it was ‘released’ to the public.Rinna gloated to the reporters while explaining how she believes this.  The last thing I would be doing is gloating—my ass would be in my doctor’s chair seeking immediate psychological help because there’s no way that shizz would be gone if I was “gloating” about having it.

No, a new Beavis & Butthead movie is not being produced and no, that’s not the lead choice for the role of Beavis.  That would be the bastard son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal.  Honestly, his name is perfect.  REDMOND.  Everything about this kid is RED.  Coinkydink?

So let’s talk about the many accomplishments of Redmond O’Neal.  Not only has he managed to toke up some crystal meth with his papa (and then get caught), but he’s still in drug woes even when his mama ain’t doing too hot in the health department.  How does one get away with being a drug addict time and time again? EASY! Follow these few steps and success if yours!

1. Claim Andy Dick Is Your Father

Trust me, the court WILL have sympathy.  Doesn’t seem too easy? One, your FATHER is Andy Dick.  Two, if you’re worried they won’t believe you, Andy Dick hardly knows where he is half the time so I doubt he’ll deny you as his kid.

2. Spice Up Your Luscious Red Locks

The court will be so mesmerized by your fire crotch that they won’t be able to send you away.  Dazzle ‘em, Robert Pattinson style.  Dye, if necessary.

3. Your Name Is Redmond

For the benefit of man kind and for the eyes of many prison guards, sending a white, freckled face firecrotched kid into the chokey is going to create many wall shakers in the shower pit.  That’s money to fix up the mess, pay workers over-time, and have butt hole surgery.  That’s thousands upon thousands of dollars, my friend.  Change your name, pronto.

Anyway, this kid’s been in rehab before for different drug-related charges, but guess what! The court seems to think he deserves ANOTHER chance to stay out of jail.  Did you see my three ways out of jail? PROVEN! According to a court spokeswoman, a Los Angeles judge has placed O’Neal in an “intensive drug rehabilitation program that includes in-custody treatment at Wayside Honor Ranch.” Makes sense since this is the same guy who ditched a rehab clinic recently.  Redmond best be on his BEST behavior because if he fails to complete the program (which could last one year), he’ll be facing the weens and peens in the shower steams–up to four years.

When people hear the word divorce, it’s all “OMG’z” and “sorry this, sorry that,” but when you look like the couple to the left…did anyone think two individuals who dress like THAT together would last?

So let me tell you in this edition of divorce why these two were destined for the laundry hole.  Between Kelis’ Marilyn Monroe rat’s nest, droopy eye, drawn in loca brows, poor excuse of a Elvira outfit and Nas’ Napoleon complex, matching mole to his once beloved, and an outfit that can only be described as something Uncle Fester would try on in the dark, the marriage was a mess from the start.  NOTE: People, if you can’t dress well together, you can’t STAY together.

A little background, the two met at a 2002 MTV VMA’s after party thrown by Diddy then tied the knot in 2003.  DOOM, DOOM, DOOM written all over it.  How does one expect to exit out of a Diddy party with your one year later wife in tow? Leaving a Diddy party with an official bitch is like leaving free slurpee day at 7-11 without trying all of the flavors.  Hey, at least bitch is smart.  Getting divorced while pregnant is priceless.  You get child support for your overextended stomach! Oh, and she’s seeking spousal support…she’s in the M-O-N-E-Y!

Kim Kardashian is certainly not a fan of the BBW, ya’ll. Looks as though the big booty was a little pissed off when she opened the latest issue of Us Weekly (I’m SURE she wasn’t looking for herself or anything) and saw that her name and picture were underneath an article centered around Forever 21’s new “plus-sized” line for big chicas.