blondieenyc

So remember when Kanye West went Chris Brown on a photographer’s ass in the camera-smashing incident at LAX back in September? Well, he better cross his fingers and hire a nice attorney because the L.A. City Attorney has charged him with three criminal misdemeanors–vandalism, battery, and grand theft.

They also charged Don Crowley with six crimes–2 counts of vandalism, 2 counts of battery, and 2 counts of grand theft.  Crowley is charged with breaking both the TMZ camera and the still camera.  Kanye is charged with breaking the flash accessory to the still camera.

If convicted on all counts, Kanye could get up to two-and-a-half years in jail. Crowley could get 5 years.  You know Kanye’s not going to jail.  If anything he’ll scoot on over Amber Rose to the judge to perform a licky, licky under his gown.  Case solved.

-C

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So guys I won’t be around today, but I will leave you with the latest in links.  Let’s start today off with babies being worth $40k. Yes, it makes me sick too, but daddy’s a music mogul and mommy’s a modeling tranny!

Aside from that, it’s up in there as to who is going to direct the third installment of the ‘Twilight’ franchise, ‘Eclipse.’ An ANGEL is apparently in the running. 

Speaking of running, Axl Rose might want to either shut his mouth or take a hike before his former bandmate hears what he has to say!

You know what boggles me? When two ridiculously over the top lesbian lovers attend a church service when we damn well know their incredible sinning will be far from acceptable.

Now for some fun news. What two movie stars enjoyed some bonding during their Tokyo visit to promote their movies? Hm, one’s a really great host while the other one dazzles in the sun. 

And who isn’t dazzling? WOMEN. DESPERATE WOMEN!

And in sadder news, a beloved icon who had some money troubles in the past has just been diagnosed with cancer.  Sad. Sad. 

As for some more violent news, the older, trannier version of Brooke Hogan apparently had a hit out on her. I doubt any of us really care.

But what really got my attention yesterday was the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal makes a starring appearance in a Jamie Fox video.  Odd, right?

We all knew something odd was up with Madonna’s face at the Vanity Fair Oscar after party. Didn’t bitch look a little TOO refreshed? Here’s why!

Oh Kanye, Kanye, Kanye.  We know you’re a perfectionist, but now you like to surround yourself with typical video ho’s, too? Along with that, someone actually doesn’t even know who Kanye is! Diss to the ego? I think, YES!

Anyway…you won’t have to wait until the summer to get your No Doubt fix.  They’re slated to perform on one of television’s most popular tv series. 

And perhaps the biggest story today has to do with–you guessed it–Chris Brown and Rihanna.  Bitches say these two are back together! They’re apparently shacking it up in one of Diddy’s homes.  If this shit is true, Rihanna’s a dumbass and they are officially Ike and Tina Turner of the 21st century.  How does it feel guys? Well, I know how it must feel on Rihanna’s unfortunate face…you know it’s used as a practice punching bag.

Until tomorrow!

-C

Because Kanye West can conquer all…why not conquer the book world? Apparently his Glow in the Dark tour was soooo edgy and real that he’s planning on compiling a new book documenting the poor excuse of a Star Wars fest.  Okay, okay, okay I heard the shit was phenom, but all I saw was laser swords.

The book will consist of behind-the-scenes photos (yay! we’ll get to actually see Kanye hitting CAPS and raving on his MAC!), concept art (bisexual porn???), commentary from Kanye himself (if this shit isn’t typed, I expect actual screaming to replace the caps lock), and a best of CD from the tour’s set list (yaaaay more auto tuning! Isn’t that what my girl Brit Brit is for?!).

Charles Miers, of publishing house Rizzoli New York said:

“Kanye West has turned his talents as pop artist to books. With a CD that includes Star Wars-like symphonics from the show as well as (an) interview with Spike Jonze, it is not only a memento of one of the most successful musical performances of the year, it is an experience all (of) its own.”

I know you can’t wait for this shit, but deal with it because it’s coming out October ‘09.  It’s okay.  At least we have Kanye’s uplifting blog for now.

-C

AND THERE YOU HAS IT!!!!! STOP TRYING TO BRING KANYE DOWNNNN!!!! I DON’T WANT TO DO BISEXUAL PORN!!!!! WHY CAN’T PEOPLE ACCEPT A MOTHA FUCKAAA WHO MADEE IT!!!!!!! A BLOG SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS!!!! A PRESIDENT IS ELECTED AND YOU TRIED TO RUIN MY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!

that’s the sum if you don’t want to read that shit.  I somehow allowed myself to enter Hell and read it all and I regret it.

-Cw

Starting on Tuesday night we saw a Kanye West transformation.  For one thing, he’s letting some poor excuse of a hair nub grow on the back of his head triggering by 1975 and it seems as though he wants to keep that going. 

Since he’s soooo artistic and sooo edgy, in a new interview, the “voice of a generation” says he’ll even get down and do some bisexual porn:

“I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I’m open to doing porn. Hell, I’ll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am.”

Why he went on the record and said this is beyond me.  Is this why he’s so close with Jay-Z and Beyonce? And oh yeah his big mouth didn’t stop there.  He goes on to explain why he’s such an iconic artist:

“I’m an artist. Artist expand; they don’t contract. What do I look like staying confined in one space with all my talent? I’m an icon.”

It’s funny that this doesn’t really strike me all that much.  I wonder what would happen if we put Kanye in a confined 2×2 room and didn’t let his artistry combust for a year.  I’m praying he’d self destruct alongside his AirMAC. Actually, I’m sure even in death he’d find a way to press caps lock and fully rant.

-Cw

I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to Kanye West for debuting this shit during his performance on MTV’s inaugural ball special last night.  Before he takes to his AirMac to go off and blog about how this haircut will be THE CUT OF A GENERATION!!!!, I have to say it for him first that this mullet look is both sophisticated and wonderful.  I’m not sure if Michael Jackson from 1983 was reincarnated into Kanye for the night, but it’s working.  I’d also like to congratulate Kanye on growing out an extra nub of hair.  It’s that little piece on the end that looks like it’s trying to run away.  Maybe trying to run back down into his panties where this shit was obviously grown in the first place.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

I had to put that picture up because it’s priceless.  Not sure if you guys remember, but when Hurrican Katrina hit, all of the celebs got together and tried to raise money.  Instead Kanye West took to live television to bash the Bush administration and Mike Myers facial expression through the entire shpeal was priceless. 

Enough of that.  Someone should invest in developing a TV show for this bitch cause he can’t stop talking…mainly about himself.  That or some webisode shit where he blogs live.  Imagine him blogging about the Golden Globes last night? “MEDIA BITCHES DON’T KNOW REAL MUSIC!!!!! WHY WAS MILEY CYRUS NOMINATED??? CAN’T A BLACK MAN GET SOME RESPECT!” Exactly.  It doesn’t make sense because he never makes sense.

So in his newest rant about himself to Vibe magazine, Kanye claims he wants fewer fans so he can go nude.  Yes, nude. 

I tried to follow his explanation, let’s see if you can all do better than me:

“I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Björk. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like, ‘Oh, that’s Björk.’ But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all type of things into it. I definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked.”

Why hasn’t that hot piece Bjork gone nude yet??? I don’t know about Kanye.  He knows he’s gotta work out because I think underneath all of that trendy shit he dons, guy is packing major case of moobs.  But you know what, if this bitch did have less fans, he’d complain about that, too.  Wait, does he really have that many fans???

“I believe I am the greatest entertainer of this generation,” he told the magazine.

I’m no longer commenting about this tool.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw