blondieenyc

Wooing, flattery, hiding certain flaws-it comes with the territory during the first few weeks of dating. But let’s face it, after the gloss on the surface fades, our true colors shine through and, well, we’re not as perfect as we might have pretended to be. 

And even when we aren’t dating, most of us still change who we are. We dye our hair; wear different color contacts, heck we might even wear spanx to hide that tiny bulge in our tummy. We’re all guilty of it. And we’re all white lying from the get go. 

As we lower our guards in hopes of sustaining and maintaining a new, healthy relationship, we also start to show our hidden persona. Maybe we aren’t as tidy as we acted and we might even (dare I say it?) burp after every other sip of soda.

Is it our fault we grew up in a society where women are viewed as always having to be matronly? Are we expected to look and act perfect all of the time? For some of us, it’s what we believed growing up. And we’re in fear of disappointing the male persuasion.  So why do we hide the person we are when first meeting a potential mate? It’s rather simple.

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You’ve finally done it! All of you seniors out there are about to graduate from four intense years of learning. Give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourselves. You’ve earned it! Now with a college degree under your belt, it’s time to face the real world (after a long, well-deserved vacation of course) and all it has to offer. Sure, times are tough. But just because the economy isn’t at its finest, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.

Having graduated just last year, I have to admit it was a scary time. There I was with not one, but two Baccalaureate degrees under my wing and no job in sight. Although I jumped the gun and immediately thought I had no future (we all get emotional sometimes, right?) I knew I had to allow myself some time. So my right hand reached into my bowl of networking. And even if you’re worried about your number of contacts, there are still ways to brand yourself. Of course it’s natural to feel a bit shy in doing so, but you ladies are inspiring and worthy of a job. Hey, you worked for it!

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You are your own best friend.  Even when you do land that great and amazing guy, there are a few things you should do for yourself to satisfy that inner single gal.  When that lovely term “relationship” creeps into your way of life, it’s sometimes distracting, fast-paced and confusing. First, you have a new man seeking entry into your heart while stealing a part of your single self. Second, your SSB (secret single behavior) takes the backseat, because let’s be honest, no woman wants her new love interest to find her dirty laundry-literally! And last, but certainly not least, you need to find that medium: a place where your old life still exists and new life begins.

We so desire that man, who’s there when you’re down, hugs you when you need it and gives you the commitment you’ve been longing for. However, while finding that proves to be worth it, most tend to lose their old selves in the process. Something most of us (myself included) are guilty of.

Having declared a relationship with my current boyfriend seven months ago, I found myself in quite a predicament.  No longer was I a single girl with all of the freedom and will at my hands.  Yes, a boy would be calling to find out what I was up to or what our plans for the evening were-something us single girls are just simply not used to such behavior. We barely call our close friends to tell them our whereabouts or plans.

When we decide to enter into a relationship, keeping yourself in check proves to be the issue at large. As 20th century writer Jo Coudert says, “the single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.”

Although we want to hope for a future, we simply do not know where the future will lead our present. We have to remember who we are throughout the course of a relationship.  That in the end, no matter the outcome, you will have yourself. And while we might fall in love and perhaps believe our current beau is The One, a relationship with ourselves has to be just as strong. Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it, too?

Let’s pick up that fork and start snacking-here are some ways to keep your old self in check while balancing a new relationship:

Ladies Night

Every bar has a night (or two or three) dedicated to getting females out and about for a good time. Whether it’s a local bar or your nearest multiplex, make sure to set aside some time with your best friends. Even if you’re in your pajamas gossiping about the latest Brangelina scandal, one or two nights a week with your girlfriends will keep your old self in check. Don’t worry, your guy is still there -just not needed when your with your best gals.

Keeping Weird, Quirky Traits

Those little strange character traits that we all hide…they are who we are! Sure, we don’t want our new guy finding out about the weird things we like to do, but regardless of what others may think, these habits are what make you, you. If you like to put cream cheese on your Doritos, know every lyric to every Britney Spears song or like to paint your fingernails different colors, don’t let a new relationship stop you. The person you’re with invested time in the person you are and those quirky traits play a major role in your personality.

You Time

It’s okay to have a few days/nights to yourself. The world will not end if you and your boyfriend are not together for a night. We’re all guilty of spending endless amount of time with our new boyfriends when revving up the start of a relationship. But sometimes you need to hang out with yourself to keep yourself in check. Having a couple of hours alone not only proves to be therapeutic, but gives you some of that single mindset. 

Chantal Waldholz is a 2008 journalism and English graduate from New York University who hopes to one day write for a major entertainment magazine or network.  She has a weakness for pricey shoes and secretly adores her guilty pleasures—gossip and reality shows.

*As seen on CHICKSPEAK.COM*

My apologies for not being around as of late.  Due to an obsession with finding a new job, I’ve been up to my ears in sending out applications…can you believe it that I have set aside CELEBRITIES to do this?! So bear with me guys.  I’m still here, just trying to get some things situated!

If you’re an avid reader of my blog, then you know how much I hate kids.  Okay, I don’t hate every kid, just kids I don’t know who sit behind me in movie theaters and talk to their parents throughout the entire movie.  And no, that totally didn’t happen to me this week and no, I almost didn’t throw my bag of popcorn on to his balding father and busting out of the pants mother.  My boytoy and I even “SHHHHHHHUSHED” a mil times to only have the mother go “okay, okay we have to whisper,” bitch this is a movie theater, not a fucking county fair.  Well, I hate old bitchy people the same, if not more.

Anyway, last Friday I payced out of work 45 minutes early.  I ended up getting to Penn Station around 4:28 and had 12 minutes to spare before my train departed.  What was even more beautiful was that my track was right next to McDonalds and I was craving their High-C orange drink.  You all know that delicious tasting treat.

So I skipped my ass over to McDonalds and awaited a rounded, pudgy cashier to get me my delicious tasting treat.  Off to the right to me were these two overweight women in their 60’s who wouldn’t be able to dress themselves even if Armani himself served as their personal fashion designer.  Pudgy McPudgerson looks at me and asks what I want so I walk up and tell her “I want my delicious tasty treat that leaves a terrible taste in my mouth” (insert joke here.) aka “Can I have a small orange hi-c?” Now to my right the ladies are still hanging around the registers and I see the one with her hand on her hip, giving me the eye.

Okay so I KNOW I always think someone is staring at me so I had to double-take to make sure this one was for real.  I did and caught the most tragic and unfortunate looking face.  I quickly turned my head to face the register again to avoid dead on illness that for sure was contagious from that God awful looking puss face.

“ARE YOU JUST BLIND TO US? WE’RE NOT BEING HELPED!” said the old bag to another pudge meister while quickly shooting me another look.  Pudge meister #2 tells her to come to my left and that she’ll serve her.  As I’m thinking wonderful thoughts of my could be bigger and fuller lips wrapping around the straw to enter a sweet blissful world of orange loveliness, I’m instead met by Satan. “NEXT TIME MIND YOUR MANNERS,” said the old bitch to MOI.

God, I had been waiting for something like this all week.  If it wasn’t a little kid I was allowed to hit on the head with my cola, an old lady who’s had enough time on this planet would suffice.  I give her the WTF look which everyone knows consists of a head cock back, a semi parted mouth with a lip up, quizzical eyes, and the zinger…hands turned on their palms to give the “huh?”

She basically tells me “You know what you did” claiming I cut a hag in line.  I thought bitch was waiting for Big Mac scented depends, so excuse my mistake.  So that was that.  I told the old bitch to shut it and to ”Mind her mouth” because she was sitting next to me at the machine waiting for fucking God himself to stuff her face with french fries and that this was NEW YORK and no one serves you unless you fucking open your crusty mouth.  Oh, by the way these broads wanted an ICED COFFEE…hell-fucking-o there’s a Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts located right across in Penn.

Her fat friend then told her “It’s not worth it” in like this terribe manish voice that sounded like it took one too many cum hits in the early 80s.  Friend continues, “say whatever you want about her to me”…mind you she’s trying to whisper at this point, but my super bionic ears heard a bitch.

After Pudge McPudgerson handed me my special drink (why it took so long, I have no idea—had I not been so invested in being a tough chick for the last five minutes, I’d have realized it was taking longer than usual), I took my tasty treat with pride, went right into the old broad’s face and shouted “YOU SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT ME TO MY FACE.”

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t appropriate and maybe that wasn’t mature, but those bitches have at least 40 years on my ass…so who’s the mature one really?

Yes, yes Blondiee is back after taking a week’s vacation…really the Today server had been giving me issues and I’m quite impatient so I’ve been doing some freelancing here and there.  Check me out!!! (TheCelebrityCafe.com)

Anywho, so I’m on the job hunt, you know, like I’ve been for what seems like years now.  As of May 14th, I’ve been out of college for a year.  Look at all of the success I’ve had! Answering phone calls for seven months…yes! So today I’ve decided to put all of my energy into finding my dream job–or perhaps my dream SUMMER job on Long Island since I like to pretend I don’t have to pony up and work a real job during the summer.  These are the times I wish I would have went to school to become a teacher, but then I think of sloppy kids and slap myself.

Really…I just don’t want to take the LIRR every fucking day to have to walk 30 minutes or take a subway to work.  Yes, walking is nice, but when it hits July and I’m hotter than Aretha Franklin’s under tits, then Houston, we have a PUH-ROB-LEM.  I figure driving a car (my mothaaaa’s car that is) to work every morning would at least give me two hours extra sleep per day, instant AC, 20 minutes time singing my lungs out in my car, home by 5:30…saving me an extra two hours traveling from the city! GO ME…well, eh, that is if I’m able to get anything.  So does anyone have any help for this Blondiee in shambles? Any advice would be great…plus, I’ll have even more time for the gym now and that is a M-U-S-T.  Okay, spelling out words is running out of style more than Heidi and Spencer’s 10,000 marriages.  This time it was real, though, right? Because anything on The Hills is totally for realz.  We all know Audrina’s ceiling eyes are.