Apr
16
2009
Because Sean Combs is totally a great actor, the head of Bad Boy Entertainment is set to star in a Judd Apatow-produced movie called Get Him to the Greek.
The movie is set around a record company intern trying to get an unruly English rock star to a gig in Los Angeles. Combs will star as the intern’s boss. So basically he’s just playing himself, right? Do we really call that acting?
And before I even knew who was going to be in this movie, I guessed. Unruly English rock star = Russell Brand. Bitched around overweight intern = Jonah Hill. Anyway you know when Diddy’s happy because if Diddy’s happy he tweets and when Diddy tweets, you better listen:
“If you work hard + believe dreams do come true! Even if no one else believes! I landed a role in the new Jonah Hill, Russell Brand movie!”
So this was a dream of his? Didn’t bitch already sell millions of records, albums, create his own brand, star in some flicks…and yet this is a dream of his? Does anyone ever read Diddy’s tweets? You’d think he was a philosophical preacher running his own church “God bless today!” “Everyone Jesus loves you!” We get it you fool.
-C
DIDDYSTWITTER
Apr
13
2009
I honestly don’t know why I’m writing about this because a) I don’t even know what this shit is and b) who really cares? But I saw Zac Efron’s name and thought well might as well.
And because Hollywood has no originality left, meet your new Johnny Quest. A film version of Johnny Quest with Zac in the title role will be released. Warner Bros. is also thinking about changing the name so it won’t be compared to the epic failure disaster of Speed Racer. Johnny Maybelline perhaps?? You know Zaccie’s a blush away from being the new spokesgirl.
-C
COMINGSOON
Apr
13
2009
First we had Dakota Fanning and now a new vampire has been cast to the upcoming sequel of Twilight, New Moon. Actor Michael Sheen who has starred in such films as The Queen and Frost/Nixon will take on the role of Aro in the new flick.
Aro is the leader of an Italian vampire clan called the Volturi. Director Chris Weitz confirmed the casting and even said he ‘aggressively’ pursued him. He said:
“Michael’s role is so important because he’s the head of all vampires. Aro is, on the surface, a very gracious and friendly vampire, but beneath that he is a tremendous threat.”
Oh, and to make us all feel better…he’s apparently being paid quite the hefty sum…while I sit here and am lucky to pop out $24K a year.
-C
DAILYMAIL
Apr
08
2009
I may not know what I’m doing this weekend, but I know for sure what the fuck I’m NOT doing. I’m staying clear of every theater showing Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana movie. No, not because I can’t deal with the loser tweens and their moms…trust me, I can kick a tot or two…and no, not because the prostitots scare me…I can outslut a prostitot or two. Mainly the chance of running into the main prostitot herself, Miley Cyrus.
Apparently bitch jumped on The Jonas Brothers bandwagon and is trying to make her shit film make some crazy money. Miley basically will follow and hopefully fall in the footsteps of fellow Disney stars, her ex and his brother, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson by surprising fans this weekend at select screenings around the country. To squeeze the money out of tween parents pockets in hopes of showing up to the film and meeting this dumb twat.
The idea behind this bullshit is all a part of Disney’s Opening Weekend Surprise program. And so Miley is obviously being forced to participate. The prostitween says:
“I’m so excited to have the opportunity to surprise my fans this weekend. I’m really proud of ‘Hannah Montana: The Movie,’ and wanted to do something special to reward the loyal Disney fans who show up opening weekend.”
Reward them by shutting the fuck up forever and not allowing them to look back at themselves when they’re 17-years-old and cringing at home made video tapes they made to your shitastic songs.
-C
ETONLINE
Apr
07
2009
This Chuck Norris poster is as random as the movie Twelve. Joel Schumacher must have had a bowl of acid and fruit loops because Chace Crawford, 50 Cent, and Emma Roberts have just signed on to star in his film.
Twelve, adapted from the Nick McDonell novel follows the story of a “high school dropout-turned drug dealer… [whose] lucrative life sours when the dealer’s cousin is brutally murdered on an East Harlem playground and his best friend is arrested for the crime.”
The film also has Kiefer Sutherland and Ellen Barkin signed on and is set to begin filming later this month in New York. 50 Cent acting is as appealing as AIDS. You never want to get it, nor see it.
-C
Variety
Apr
07
2009
I’m actually feeling this. Probably because the actor they chose to play the new Freddie is pedo looking abortion face and the fact that I remember him for his role in Little Children where he liked to get off on the thoughts of…little children.
Anyway, Robert Englund was basically cast aside and for the first time ever will not be reprising his role as the famed Freddy Krueger in the new remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
All I need now is Johnny Depp to reprise his role although I’m sure bitch is too busy voicing for Sponge Bob and getting his peen stuck in between his woman’s gap teeth.
Anyway, enough of that. New Line announced that Jackie Earle Haley will be the new Freddy. The movie comes out April 16, 2010. Aside from Jackie being a child toucher in Little Children, some may recognize him from the original Bad News Bears and more recently, Rorschach from Watchmen. I’m pretty sure this bitch will pull Freddy off since his performance in Little Children made me want to run to the nearest dry cleaners and dry clean my eyes out for having viewed what I just did.
-C
ComingSoon
Apr
05
2009
Okay so I just finished having a heart attack…it’s cool, I’m okay…unfortunately still alive. mu ah ah…alright
Anyway, can jelly just crap out on peanut butter? Can Minnie Mouse just go ahead and leave Mickey to blow Goofy? Okay, yeah maybe she could, but that’s an awful visual.
So can Mr. Big just up and leave Sex and the City?! Can that even exist? Well, it just so happens that it might and that to me is just devastating…more so devastating when I learned that the little girl I was being compared to in the Mmm Bop video when I was 11-years-old turned out to be a guy. Thank you, thank you.
This shit’s not going to happen in my book, but apparently Chris Noth is playing hard to get with the film’s producers. AKA he wants alotta casssssh money. All of the ladies are signed on for the next movie, but Big has yet to sign away. Bitch should make a lot of money…this whole fucking show is technically based off of he and Carrie’s relationship.
-C
E! Online
Apr
03
2009
So I don’t care if the next movie is centered around the four of them in a nursing home having someone wipe their asses, I live for this Sex and the City shit.
The gals are back with the sequel hitting theaters May 28th 2010. Too bad that shit’s a year away. I guess I’ll just have to start my bi-annual marathon of watching season one through season six with the movie to top it off. I have no life, ya’ll. SATC is like my Daddy Spears, it controls me and limits everything I do.
-C
Source
Apr
02
2009
WHAT THE FUCK. Way to ruin two good things. Since Sony Pictures has a bunch of morons working there, no one out of probably hundreds and hundreds of employees can come up with something original. So they do the next best thing…add on some sequels to classic movies!
During a movie industry organization, Showest, in Las Vegas yesterday…Sony revealed how pathetically dumb they are…the studio is working on releasing not only Men In Black III, but Ghostbusters III as well! Crap and some more crap!
Didn’t MIB II suck? Wasn’t Ghostbusters II out like the last fucking decade? Shouldn’t they have released that shit years ago because it would’ve kicked ass? Needless to say I doubt they’re going to be able to afford all of the original characters (they probably won’t even consider it) and make a decent story.
No screenwriter has been chosen to pen the MIB III. As for Ghostbusters, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and crew are obviously a little too old to be chasing around fucking ghosts, so guess what they are doing? Returning as mentors to a new crew of Ghostbusters. That just seriously brought a tear to my God damn eye. RUINED! A CLASSIC IS RUINED!
-C
Mar
31
2009
I’m going to assume that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long rekindled their hobby horse romance or this is about to be the most awkward movie ever created.
It’s being reported that Drew is set to star opposite her real life ex, Long in the upcoming chick flick Going the Distance. It revolves around a couple trying to make a long distance relationship work.
These two “broke up” in July, but recent sightings of the two together have sparked rumors that they may in fact be back together. Whatever, let’s just hope if they procreate that the kids don’t get his eyebrows and pasty skin or her lisp. But I love Drew…however, I can’t be biased…she’s still a hot piece.
-C
Source
