Apr
16
2009
“Everything’s nice, nice, nice, nice but her her face.”
That really should be the catch phrase in Lady GaGa’s Pokerface. Okay, I love her, I think she’s talented, I think she’s interesting, but the face unfortunately does not match the bod. Some might say that’s UNFORTUNATE.
Anyway, if you kiddies were wondering just what GaGa is trying to say in her hit song Pokerface, she’s just done you a favor by explaining it during her performance on Sunday night at the 20th Annual White Party.
Lady reveals that the song is a deep philosophical discussion of her personal experience with bisexuality. And so what exactly is a poker face? A face she dons while she’s with a man, but really fantasizing about a woman.
God, she’s SO EDGY. Why not just up and fuck a chick? I’m sure any guy would be down for a threesome. Any sane guy, that is.
-C
NBC
Apr
15
2009
After being beat the fuck up by then boyfriend Chris Brown and struggling through a hard time of media frenzy and rumors, it seems as though Rihanna is getting on with her career and performing again for the first time with a show in the United Arab Emirates on May 28th.
Although a venue is still undecided, Ri has signed off on her 38-page rider, which includes shit like anti-bacterial soap, three whole lemons, and teaspoons. What?
According to managing director Yassin Matbouly:
“We have been working to bring Rihanna to the region for a while now but it has never been the right time for one reason or another. This time everything worked out and the gig will more than likely be the last outdoor concert before the summer — and one not to miss.”
Well at least she’s performing and not getting the back hand…
-C
Apr
15
2009
Think Eminem’s gonna be pissed, too? It seems as though the big heads at Universal are so unhappy with my baby girl Amy Winehouse these days. Since having thrown a TON of money her way so she could return to St. Lucia and finally record the promise follow-up to Back To Black (an album they have apparently been waiting years for her to record), it seems as though Amy flipped them off because instead of recording her new record, she’s been in the studio with Damon Albarn’s project, Gorillaz.
A source from the label told reporters:
“Imagine how they felt when they realized she had agreed to work with Gorillaz? They couldn’t believe it.”
“It’s an unnecessary distraction. They think she should invest all her energy in her own music. She should be knuckling down and delivering the goods.”
Also, she just declined Em’s request to work with him stating she needed to work on herself, but yet bitch is in the studio snorting away. You know the only reason bitch is probably in the studio with Gorillaz is because she has her choice between Special K and LSD. Anyway, baby girl is said to be really pissed about her label’s protest to the collaboration. Gorillaz is signed to Universal’s enemy, EMI sooo yeah, you could say them being pissed is an understatement.
And you know, it’s just their money and everything so they totally shouldn’t be pissed. At this point, everyone forgets Amy’s a singer…they just know her by her better half, la cocaine.
-C
MIRROR
Apr
13
2009
No, that’s not the real Eminem and Amy Winehouse … those two souls are far more unfortunate looking than the real deal.
By now you all have more than likely seen Em’s new video for We Made You, and his impersonation of my lovely baby girl, Amy Wino. He raps: “Amy, rehab never looked so good. I can’t wait, I’m going back.”
But apparently imitating her was flattery coming from the rapper who actually asked Amy to collaborate on a track with him, hoping for another “magical” hit in the path of Stan in which the rapper sampled Dido.
Sucks for him because my baby girl basically judged him like Madonna’s ass and said no. According to a source:
“Amy was flattered by the offer. She loves hip-hop and is a big fan of Eminem. But she didn’t feel it was the right thing to do at the present time.”
Unfortunately, Em didn’t take offense so we won’t be hearing any upcoming tracks with him dissing her and as a source says:
“He understands that recently she hasn’t been in a state to focus on music because of her tumultuous private life but he hopes they will get together on a future project.”
What’s considered getting her life back together when it comes to Winehouse? I don’t think we’ve ever seen this bitch sober and frankly I love the crazies so she and Lohan should just keep it up.
-C
THESUN
Apr
08
2009
Ugh the only thing upbeat about Jessica Simpson is her fucking Dolly Parton hair…aside from that, every thing else is flat…including being signed under a label.
As I reported yesterday, rumors circulated that the singer may have been dropped from Sony Nashville after her name disappeared from its rosters on the website. Last year, they put out her terribly, terribly, poorly received country CD.
And now since the cat’s out of the bag, Jessica’s camp (or whoever is left in it) is trying to spin things. They claim the singer was “on loan” to Sony Nashville, but reps for the loser assured the media that the singer ”is and has always been an Epic artist.” She basically has a recording contract with the parent company.
But will they be stupid enough to actually put another one of her album’s out? Do you know how much money they already spend on hair and make-up and … at least five pairs of spanx per concert? She also dumped pop music for country music claiming she would NEVER make another pop record, but since country doesn’t like her and pop never has liked her, what the fuck are they going to do with this bitch?
-C
OKMAGAZINE
Apr
07
2009
Eminem crawled out of his rock home and somehow managed to make a video that is about a couple of years too late for his new song We Made You. It’s still funny as fuck though and at least Jessica Simpson can look back at this and reminisce about her once (although shitty) career. I honestly thought Bret Michaels was in this shit until I rubbed my eyes and realized Eminem could possibly win a fucking Oscar by acting like that bandanna bitch. I also love how this video really flows with my blog today…Sarah Palin, crazy Lindsay and SaMAN shit, J Simps…I think Em and I might be made for each other.
Apr
07
2009
Jessica Simpson can only catch a break when it comes to a kit kat bar. Everything else…shits on her parade. Not like I didn’t think this was going to happen, but rumor has it that JSimps label is going to can that bitch.
Because when you start forgetting lyrics to your own songs, there is obviously a problem. Her record label seems to have dropped her, as her name has been erased from the rosters of Columbia Nashville and Sony Music Nashville.
No official statement has been released, but bitch is basically done. At least she has her shoes although I’m sure about four people buy those and those four people are the ones searching through Walmart’s clearance section hoping to catch a break. And to think only a few years ago this bitch was on top of the world…and on top of Nick Lachey. I pity her for that.
-C
CMTT
Apr
03
2009
I feel like a heroine addict who hasn’t had a hit in a while—especially when it comes to discussing my baby girl Amy Winehouse. She’s been quite quiet lately, whatsa goin’ on?! (I totally went for the Bret Michaels version of what’s going on because I’m lame and I like to watch reality shows centered around diseases from 1986.)
Anyway, London can slowly come down from being scared because baby girl has decided to pack up her bags and once again terrorize the people of St. Lucia!
Yesterday morning, baby girl said fuck off London, jumped on a plane, snorted a line, and sent her ass back to the crazy land. The Caribbean Crackie has decided to make St. Lucia the place to make her third album. Note to all tourists: hide the booze because this bitch can smile it miles away and she will snatch that shit up. You don’t want to lose your booze!
-C
Source
Apr
01
2009
David Hasselhoff is a lot of things. Famed terrible actor from Baywatch, drunk cheeseburger eater, and a messy divorce kind of guy. One thing he and his spawn will never be = successful in the music business. Has anyone ever heard some of the great classic tunes he recorded for Baywatch? Or the more recent 2006 release Jump In My Car? How could you not? They’re glorious and brilliant.
Well, Hoff thinks his daughters, 18-year-old Taylor Ann and 16-year-old Hayley Amber, have what it takes to become the next princesses of pop. Cue in Hulk Hogan and his hot mess of a son, Brooke.
Meet the Hoff Drops…a name only daddy likes to call them. He’s pairing them with top songwriters and spending loads of cash on studio time. Because in a recession that’s what we should do…produce more and more useless shit to make our ears bleed. According to Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills:
“David really wants it to work — it’s all he talks about. He will be advising them, but he’s looking for full-time management for them. He’s sorted it all out and he’s very hands-on.”
Best part of it all? The DJ continues:
“They’re recording a song together. It’s like Miley Cyrus-ish pop — it’s teen pop.”
We already have one of that bitch, do we really need two other mo’s from a Z-List father try to match that shit? That’s not even testing the waters of being semi-talented, that’s just plain ‘ol saying you want to make an easy buck the easiest, most possible way because the most creative that Miley bitch is the fact she includes her best friend Leslie in a song…hey! she’s just being Miley! Both better get a facial and the other better lay off the cheeseburgers if they even dream of getting some sort of attention. Who am I kidding? Their dad is David fucking Hasselhoff and you don’t hassle the hoff. But you can JUMP IN HIS CAR below
-C
Source
Apr
01
2009
Three words: GOD AWFUL IDEA. Honestly does God have it out for me today? Obviously the other two broads in this group are hard up for cash so they definitely want in.
Can you not contain your excitement over the fact that Destiny’s Child is reuniting?! Because I CAN. Remember a few years ago they called it quits? I basically jumped for joy…held some back because I knew Beyonce would still be around trying to be the next Diana Ross, but at least I didn’t have to witness three morons together.
However, it’s said the group is being forced back together. They may have wanted to check out their contract with Columbia Records because according to an insider, the girls have another album they owe the label.
No word on when this heinous shit is going down, but it’s expected to happen some time in 2011 once BeyonceSUCK finishes touring and promoting her latest bull shit album.
-C
