blondieenyc

I’m starting the NO WORDS section.  Basically for pictures that I have no words for because they include celebrities doing something disgusting, involving themselves in a messay situation, I don’t understand what’s going on, and no words could capture the reality of it.  I’d like for YOU to give me some words about this.  Today’s features Paris Hilton:

New vomit couple of the month.  Katy Perry and Benji Madden showed up together as each other’s Valentine at Lavo in Les Vegas last night.

A big mouth told Perez Hilton:

“They were with friends but you could definitely tell they were on a date! There wasn’t any public making out but they were very “friendly” with each other.”

This is the only time I’d wish to see Paris Hilton come in and smack a bitch.  A) The attempted punch would give me laughs for days B) the crabs escaping her vagina to attach on to her ex would be quite a sight that would even give the Cloverfield monster a run for it’s money and C) actually just the previous two are enough.  Kudos to kids spreading and sharing STDS within Hollywood! If you’re really that interested in seeing them together at this place then click the source link below and view the video.

-C

Source: PerezHilton

This is probably what Paris Hilton looked like when she realized her camera with hundreds of personal photos from Australia was missing! Fucking lush! Where was her personal assistant?!

During her New Year’s partying, she misplaced her camera.  Bitch also left her cell phone at the hotel, but that was returned to her.  I would have at least expected some cash money upon return.  That bitch’s pinky alone is worth like a couple grand.  She misplaces her camera on New Years, I drop mine in a cup of liquor.  It happens.

The camera hasn’t been returned because the lucky fuck who found it is counting the ways he can make some mola.  I’d fucking sell that shit and pay off my loans or I’d put it up for ransom.  It’s not like we haven’t seen Paris’ lady bits anyway.  I’ve seen them and I’ll pass on the pimple nips and snatch.  

Because this bitch is worth millions, photo agencies are attempting to take advantage of the Heiress’ loss, offering thousands for the camera.  Didn’t she just find that best friend girl on her reality show? Why didn’t she have that bitch hold onto it? Wasn’t the point of that show to find some nobody to hold your books like I most did in high school? I kid! If any of you have that camera, send the pics my wayyyyyyy.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

Doesn’t anybody else think that Paris Hilton has a personalized dildo that puts her to sleep every night? Hell, I’d even go for her having like three just to get her ass to sleep.  Well, apparently, we were wrong.  

In the new issue of Britain’s Glamour Magazine, the heiress claims:

“I’ve only done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it’s important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag; they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you; he’ll want you much more if he can’t have you.”

Yeah kissing a couple of dicks.  This ho cannot tell me that she doesn’t suck dick on a daily, nightly, hourly basis.  A couple hundred people maybe.  That I’d believe.  She’s had the entire New York Giants team and then some.

When you’re on tape sucking dick and fucking shit, it’s hard to believe that your ass is a virginal fortress.  A couple of people? Isn’t that like two? So she’s telling me Rick Solomon and that almost husband, Paris Latsis, were her only lovers? Yeah, I highly doubt that shit.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

Not only was Paris Hilton robbed, but her uncle was right after! Stephen Michael Hilton was allegedly attacked by the thief who broke into his home.  These fucking Hilton’s are like the Kennedy’s.  Instead of assassination, we have burglary.  

And what’s with the robber? He stole about $2 mil worth of shit at the uncle’s the same as how much he stole from Paris.  Retard!!! You always make bigger bank the next time.  Especially if you’re probably going to be caught, at least go out with a bang.  

Well, now Paris thinks she may know who did it.  She doesn’t believe it to be a stranger, but someone who has definitely been to her home before.  After viewing surveillance tapes, she says, “I think whoever did this definitely has been there before. We have some suspects that I’m thinking of. You know, it’s just an invasion of privacy, and it’s happened to me before. It’s really scary but they’re doing a huge investigation on this, and we’re going to catch this person.”

Bitch better get some better security.  She says, “Obviously it’s devastating and disturbing that someone was in my home. [But] we have three security guards there and a 24-hour guard who is always on my property. We have the alarm on, [we have] the dogs, the guards with the gun, so no one is going to be coming into my house.”

And the obvious cliche question, what’s her personal message to the thieves you may ask?, “I would tell them to please return my things. They just have to anonymously have a taxi drop it off in my front gate in a box with my jewelry and everything. They won’t get in trouble. But if all this goes on for much longer, they’re going to get in more trouble.”

Yeah right! Wishful fucking thinking.  I’m sure Timmy the Thief is going to skip his way back to her front porch, ask for forgiveness, and give back everything.  I’m sure this is some crackhead dealer she dealt with years ago.  Crackies will stop at nothing for a little cash to keep up their habit.  It was like my diabetic dad last night crying over brownies.  Went to the hospital Christmas morning…actually I’ll post that in a second.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw

Well, it’s not like Paris Hilton’s not used to force entry or anything.  Below her waist lays a 24 hour easy access highway.  That’s terrible.

Some smart ass found a way into Hilton’s home last Thursday and stole a shitload of stuff.  Unfortunately, Paris was not home when the event occurred.  Doesn’t this bitch have like 24-hour security on staff? I mean, isn’t this almost impossible to get away with? 

Reports state that the thief most likely got through an unlocked door.  Is she an idiot basically handing out her shit? Especially when you’re a celebrity, when the fuck do you leave your door open? My dad locks our shit up and our house is probably 1/24th the size of hers.  It’s quite funny.  He says home invasions occur so we use a security system that doesn’t even connect to the security.  My father aka hot stuff believes simply the “noise” will scare the intruders away.  I told him if anyone’s robbing our ass, they’re the idiots cause they won’t find much.  Just don’t take the Beverly Hills, 90210 DVDS is all I ask.

So this thief got away with an estimated $2 mil worth of jewelry and other shit! She also spoke out to some mags, but it’s her complaining and being upset and frankly, I don’t care nor want to waste my time posting it.

Some ho down at the LAPD says a security guard at Hilton’s gated community reported a forced entry attempt at 5 a.m.  The guard said the burglar was a male wearing a hooded sweatshirt and gloves.  My money’s on Michael Jackson.  He’s coo-coo for cocoa puffs at the moment…actually he’s always been.  He probably mistook Hilton’s home for an all boys day care center.  Who could blame him? Paris’ hoo-ha is as open to the male community as much as Amy Winehouse falls off the wagon.

Class and Trash with an Edge of sASS*-Cw