blondieenyc

Wonderful.  Great.  Of course.  It seems when it rains, it pours on Alex Rodriguez.  I should say that usually the thunderstorm following him is produced by his actions, but it was revealed yesterday, Thursday, that the Bat Boy will have surgery to remove a cyst from his right hip.

His brother revealed to ESPN that his ARod will more than likely be out of commission for a while.  Yankees General Manager, Brian Cashman, told the New York Daily News that he “can’t define a while.”

Good. Great. GRAND.  Apparently ten weeks is the amount of time the slugger will need to rehab and get his ass back in shape after the surgery.

Between the roids and Madonna’s roid vagina, I’m sure that mixture only made this problem worse.

-C

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A couple of days ago I reported on the two NFL players missing at sea off the coast of Florida.  Oakland Raiders linebacker Marquis Cooper, free-agent Corey Smith, and former college player William Bleakley are the men still missing.  Nick Schuyler was the only football player found Monday and was rescued from floating in the water since Saturday afternoon.

Well, as of last night, Tuesday, the US Coast Guard has suspended its search for the three other men.  During a news conference today, the Coast Guard announced:

“We’re extremely confident that if there were any survivors on the surface of the water that we would have found them.”

The Guard had done 50 search missions in the last 60 hours.  All they found was a cooler and a life jacket.  This is some LOST shit.  Sad.

-C

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If you don’t know who this dude is, he’s basically a bad ass who inappropriately comments on ex-girlfriends (i.e. Elisha Cuthbert’s his sloppy seconds), interned at Vogue, and also plays hockey.  He’s not just a hockey player…Sean Avery is actually one of the best and most recognized players in the NHL.

Plus my boyfriend’s obsessed with him and this news has obviously made him happy.  So Avery was basically banned from the NHL and kicked off the Stars after he made those Cuthbert comments.  Well, bitch has returned to the ice and will now rejoin the New York Rangers for today’s practice.  He’ll make his debut tomorrow, Thursday…his first time playing since bitch was moved to the idiot club.

The Rangers and the Stars will split the remainder of Avery’s contract.  Hopefully in between his icecapades and galavanting, hell have enough time to wine and dine Anna Wintour, since he’s so good at it!

-C

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Sometimes when you have all of the money in the world, it’s easy to get what you want OR buy your way out of something.  This whole David Beckham / AC Milan / LA Galaxy shizz that has been going on for what seems to be years is still, well, going on. 

David apparently is so determined to stay in Italy that he is willing to bang into his own buck to make sure it happens.  Obviously this shit is going to have so many parts to it, but is expected to settle by tomorrow, Wednesday.

This deal will have Beckham throw down a shizz load of cash allowing him to play until the end of the Italian soccer season…ending in May.  He will then return to LA in July to play in the second part of that season.  And of course, Becks will then buyout the clause in his Galaxy contract at the end of the season in November so he can officially play for AC Milan.

David’s actually pretty smart.  I’m just saddened that Victoria won’t have as many pictures because you know the LA paps are on bitches like white on rice.  We had a real live breathing alien living amongst us these past months…sad it has to come to an end come November.

-C

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Really scary.  By now you guys have probably heard about the two NFL players who were among the four boaters who have been missing since Saturday in Florida’s Gulf Coast.  Oakland Raiders linebacker Marquis Cooper and former Detroit Lion Corey Smith joined former University of South Florida football players William Bleakley and Nick Schuyler for a deep sea fishing trip.  Well, no one has seen them since and no one has been able to contact any of them.

Well earlier today an overturned boat was found within the area of where the guys went missing.  Nick Schuyler was found clinging to it.  The Coast Guard is continuing the search for the other missing guys.  Schuyler’s father claims the other three did have life vests on.  So let’s hope all of them are safe.

-C

Source: MSNBC

Oh A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod.  What ever will we do with your lying ways? We all know back in the day, the Rod lied by claiming he had never used any type of performance-enhancing drug.  By now we all know that was, well, a lie.

Then a couple of days ago he met with New York press to apologize for lying and using the drug.  He claimed that his cousin apparently injected him with an over-the-counter substance, Primobolan, from the Dominican Republic.  He used it as an energy boost.  Yeah, drinking a red bull is more understanding than shooting some liquid substance up your ass.

Well, surprise, surprise.  Apparently he’s lied about that as well.  According to Dr. Pia Veras, he’s the dude who regulates the pharmaceutical drugs in the DR, it was absolutely impossible for the baseball slugger to legally purchase the drug.  Vergas said the reasoning for that is because it was not available for legal purchase between 2001 and 2003.

He says:

“What Alex Rodriguez stated at the press conference doesn’t make sense. It is important for us to clarify that such substance has not been registered and is not currently registered for legal sale in Dominican pharmacies — not now and the same applies for the years 2001 to 2003.”

Okay so maybe this dude isn’t exactly right.  So like any other writer / editor who fact checks, reports verify that after contacting many pharmacies throughout the DR, all of them said the same shizz.  They did mention that testosterone is available over-the-counter.  And guess what? The Rod tested positively to both testosterone and that P shit.

They should have a Madonna ban as well.  Anytime any guy gets near that snatch, it has disaster written all over it.

-C

Source: ESPN

Well, that wasn’t too long.  Expect David Beckham back in LA Galaxy colors starting in March.  His ass wasn’t so wanted over in Italy.

The Italians had a Friday deadline to make him an offer and the mo’s didn’t.  It’s claimed they offered some cashhhh moneeeey, but that it wasn’t enough.  It’s not enough if Victoria Beckham can’t afford her daily Manolo Blahniks. 

The boss at the LA Galaxy said:

“I know David is emotionally invested, but I don’t think Milan really was that interested in spending the money we would have had to receive to compensate us for our losses.”

Shirtless David in America.  That’s cool.

-C

Source: ESPN

I’m pretty much over this Alex RoIDriguez talk because the guy went on TV, apologized, and that’s basically all he could have done.  Yeah, bitch lied about using in the past but that’s because he probably thought he was going to get away with it since those records were confidential and methinks Madonna’s snatch hypnotized a bitch.

Anyway, there were some reports saying that The House Committee on Oversight and Reform wanted A-Roid to come to Congress to state that he did in fact abuse steroids in the past.  However, the Committee has since took a chill pill, jacked each other off, and changed their mind, giving the slugger the guilt trip talk saying how disappointed in him they are.  They also say there are more important things to worry about at the moment.  Yeah, I’ll say.   A statement from Representative Edolphus Towns reads:

“With unemployment in this country approaching double digits and our constituents’ very livelihoods being threatened by the nation’s economic woes, I intend to focus on passing President Obama’s Economic Recovery legislation to get Americans back to work to fix our sinking economy. The American people need leaders who will focus on stemming job losses and getting credit to flow in the marketplace before hearing from yet another person who cheated both himself and the game of baseball.

“The Committee began this investigation in the face of a weak and ineffective drug testing policy that compromised the integrity of Major League Baseball. Now that baseball is implementing one of the most comprehensive drug testing policies in major league sports, I look forward to monitoring how well the policy is working to ensure the credibility of our national pastime.”

Yada, yada, yada.  They also want A-Rod to “turn a negative into positive” by joining anti-drug education campaigns for kids.  He better tap his ass nicely, slap on a DARE t-shirt, head to the nearest school district, and thank God this is all he has to do to same some face.

-C

Source: Newsday

Obviously after Alex Rodriguez came clean and admitted to steroid use, many of his sponsors are considering giving the baseball ?wonder? the axe.  This would cost A Rod millions in sponsorship money.

The heads over at Guitar Hero are supposedly considering ceasing all ties with the slugger and Nike is ‘taking the issue very seriously’. A rep for the Nike said:

“Nike does not condone the use of illegal substances in sport and agrees with Alex Rodriguez that they should not be used. We will have no further comment at this time.”

Ironically enough, both A Rod and Michael Phelps appeared side by side in the Guitar Hero ad.  Roids and pot, man, roids and pot.

Another insider revealed:

“There is an incredible backlash due to the fact that he was supposed to save baseball from the whole Barry Bonds steroid incident and as it turns out he’s done the same thing.”

Even if he does lose these sponsorships, he basically makes like a million dollars a minute and is pretty much set for life.  Lucky, cheating bastards.

-C

Source: FoxNews