blondieenyc

“I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house… We had it before it came out… We had it at our house, I believe, and everyone is fine,” Rinna bragged.

God, Lisa, I am just SO JEALOUS.  She even continued by saying: ”How do you know it’s the swine flu? I don’t know but we had all the symptoms.” Which were fever, cough, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, myalgia, headache, chills, and fatigue…you know, also known as th regular flu.  And she wonders why they don’t want her ass back on Melrose. You know, I kind of believe her.  There’s not enough botox in the world to roid her lips up like that. 

Try to seriously hold yourself up with this one.  There are so many ways you can take this story with a joke it’s insane.  Basically, Miley Cyrus is a walking/talking prostitot joke.

16-year-old Miley claims her 20-year-old boyfriend brought her closer to God:

“I’ve never been closer to the Lord since I met him. He’s really made me read my Bible. He’s made me actually read the stories in the Bible — not the quick little verses — that not only help me, but show you how to help other people.”

And I have nothing to say, but the following…hey Justin Gaston, do you speak so closely with Jesus about the fact you’re banging a minor? Just wondering.

-C

USMAGAZINE

Right after everyone and their mom was reporting on Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker calling it quits again due to the rumor circulating that she was jeepin’ behind his back with the hawtness that is Gerard Butler while Trav lay holed up in the hospital.

Well, BIA isn’t having it because she took some time out to share her feelings on her blog today…desperate attempt? Do people really care about the facts? No, they want the DRAMA of a c-list couple.

Anywho, here’s what she wrote:

“I really thought the days of my personal relationship being played in the public eye were over. just so there is no confusion or “source” to attack my character, I am saying my side.

Travis and I were very much together in September when the horrific crashed happened, not only did I fly to Georgia I stayed by his side the entire stay and also for the bus ride home to LA, I think any human being with a heart and for the love of any good friend , never mind father of their children and lover would do the same, After arriving in LA and getting settled in the new hospital, I came across numerous romantic emails with MANY other woman, some famous , some I personally knew, all heart breaking. and the woman involved you know who you are and should be ashamed of yourself. I also came across emails where employees of my ex were writing comments on gossip networks like TMZ and Perez Hilton, attacking me as a woman and a mother. I Think those were more painful then the infidelities. As anyone can imagine, I was devastated, this is when I stopped going to the LA hospital, I knew and made sure even after what I learned he had a strong support system in place with friends and family, and I made it clear to them why I would be dismissing myself, at that point with the new information revealed to me I considered myself SINGLE and thou In my heart hoped we would remain friends and good parents had no intentions of getting back together. It was a painful time that no one unless they had lived it has the right to judge. Any actions I may or may have not done after this time, mean nothing.

I have been attacked by my Ex and his friends in the press for years at this point, my ability as a mother ( which to me is the cruelest thing you can do to any mother) my character and my integrity. I have never verbally bashed him as a father. I didn’t even bash him after the infamous blogs years ago, I have never went on different social networks and made campaigns of hate and slander, In fact MANY times I have had to bite my tongue and try to be the bigger person. I have tried to always put the lives and thoughts and feelings of my children first. I am by no means an angel, and I have made many mistakes, but a woman can only turn her cheek so many times.

“No Comment” just wasn’t sufficent this time when people continue to lie and distort the truth. the sad part is, the truth really isn’t that juicy or news worthy, it’s sad and I wish it had been left behind closed doors. I am a human being and the bashing has taken it’s toll.

hope your all happy.
s.”

Yeah, I read the first sentence and gave up as well.

-C

Source

David Hasselhoff is a lot of things.  Famed terrible actor from Baywatch, drunk cheeseburger eater, and a messy divorce kind of guy.  One thing he and his spawn will never be = successful in the music business.  Has anyone ever heard some of the great classic tunes he recorded for Baywatch?  Or the more recent 2006 release Jump In My Car? How could you not? They’re glorious and brilliant.

Well, Hoff thinks his daughters, 18-year-old Taylor Ann and 16-year-old Hayley Amber, have what it takes to become the next princesses of pop.  Cue in Hulk Hogan and his hot mess of a son, Brooke. 

Meet the Hoff Drops…a name only daddy likes to call them.  He’s pairing them with top songwriters and spending loads of cash on studio time.  Because in a recession that’s what we should do…produce more and more useless shit to make our ears bleed.  According to Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills:

“David really wants it to work — it’s all he talks about. He will be advising them, but he’s looking for full-time management for them. He’s sorted it all out and he’s very hands-on.”

Best part of it all? The DJ continues:

“They’re recording a song together. It’s like Miley Cyrus-ish pop — it’s teen pop.”

We already have one of that bitch, do we really need two other mo’s from a Z-List father try to match that shit? That’s not even testing the waters of being semi-talented, that’s just plain ‘ol saying you want to make an easy buck the easiest, most possible way because the most creative that Miley bitch is the fact she includes her best friend Leslie in a song…hey! she’s just being Miley! Both better get a facial and the other better lay off the cheeseburgers if they even dream of getting some sort of attention.  Who am I kidding? Their dad is David fucking Hasselhoff and you don’t hassle the hoff.  But you can JUMP IN HIS CAR below

-C

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Jesus Luz is my age and although he’s a male and I’m a female, I’m still jealous that all he has to do is stick it to Madonna with his hot beef injection and he basically has anything at his beck and call.

And like my age, we youngin’s tend to make bad mistakes.  However, we should smarten up when having the chance of a lifetime aka getting into Madge’s multimillion dollar estate.  So as I reported earlier, reports have been circulating around Jesus potentially cheating on Madge with a 31-year-old lingerie model in Brazil.

According to spies, the two spent a lot of time dancing together at a party and even at times caressing one another.  Well, stupid is as stupid does because Jesus believes the right thing to do is to speak to the media about this entire situation.

Although he admits he danced with the model, he claims that absolutely nothing else happened especially because his mama dukes was there at the same party.  On his model friend, Jesus says:

“I danced with her, but I danced with everyone at the party. My mum was at my side and never would I become intimate with a woman if my mum was nearby - even if I was interested in that person.”

So if mommy wasn’t around, would he have possibly whipped the dick out and had a hit parade party in this model’s vajayjay? Jesus claims his mother was close the entire night, but partygoers said they never once saw her.  The day after, Jesus was photographed with the same model who he deems his “friend,” model Luciana Costa, as they went for a stroll.  He says:

“I have nothing with Luciana. The next day I met her on the beach and greeted her normally. The press created this story.”

And although the new media whore of the moment has a mouth on him and felt it necessary to talk to the media about the rumors, he still doesn’t confirm if he’s dating the Material Mom…he says:

“Even if it is true that I am with her, I would never reveal these details. I was never one to comment on my personal life and that won’t change now. This is a characteristic of my personality.”

Listen this bitch is pleading to the media because he knows he made a mistake.  Such a big mistake that it might cost him the millions he was planning on investing.  What he should do is keep his mouth shit because I doubt Madge is going to agree with this.  She’s going to have to punish him for a weekend, take away his toys, and make sure she changes his diaper every time he pisses in his pants upon seeing her with the belt.

-C

Source

Everyone get your favorite crack pipe out…one of your favorite crackheads is claiming she’s not a crackhead.  She like, really, really wants you to believe her, too.  Lindsay Lohan clearly took one too many bong hits the morning she gave this interview because B-I-T-C-H is D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L.

Be prepared to laugh out loud when I show you some HIGHlights from her interview with E! News.  Warning: this may make you pee your pants because it’s that downright funny.  This coming from a girl who wears t-shirts like this—->.

Lindsay needs to contact Britney’s LEAVE HER ALONEEEEE Chris guy because Lindsay just wants everyone to have some faith in her.

How does Lindz feel about reports claiming she fights with her carpet muncher?

“They need to stop saying we’re fighting. People telling lies about me to her and all this garbage. I’m really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work. The only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal.”

Translation:

Sucking on vagine is hard and sometimes we fight, but I get to go to clubs and suck secret dick in the back.  I’m just normal!

On being a coked up, alcohol coming out of her veins type of broad:

“I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”

Translation:

I drink.  I do drugs.  I lie.  The most creative I am is when I’m able to figure out how to snort coke and down a shot of vodka at the same time.

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