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Apr 27 2009

Server’s Finally Back (And I’m Applying For Jobs Like It’s My J-O-B)

Published by blondieenyc under life Edit This

Yes, yes Blondiee is back after taking a week’s vacation…really the Today server had been giving me issues and I’m quite impatient so I’ve been doing some freelancing here and there.  Check me out!!! (TheCelebrityCafe.com)

Anywho, so I’m on the job hunt, you know, like I’ve been for what seems like years now.  As of May 14th, I’ve been out of college for a year.  Look at all of the success I’ve had! Answering phone calls for seven months…yes! So today I’ve decided to put all of my energy into finding my dream job–or perhaps my dream SUMMER job on Long Island since I like to pretend I don’t have to pony up and work a real job during the summer.  These are the times I wish I would have went to school to become a teacher, but then I think of sloppy kids and slap myself.

Really…I just don’t want to take the LIRR every fucking day to have to walk 30 minutes or take a subway to work.  Yes, walking is nice, but when it hits July and I’m hotter than Aretha Franklin’s under tits, then Houston, we have a PUH-ROB-LEM.  I figure driving a car (my mothaaaa’s car that is) to work every morning would at least give me two hours extra sleep per day, instant AC, 20 minutes time singing my lungs out in my car, home by 5:30…saving me an extra two hours traveling from the city! GO ME…well, eh, that is if I’m able to get anything.  So does anyone have any help for this Blondiee in shambles? Any advice would be great…plus, I’ll have even more time for the gym now and that is a M-U-S-T.  Okay, spelling out words is running out of style more than Heidi and Spencer’s 10,000 marriages.  This time it was real, though, right? Because anything on The Hills is totally for realz.  We all know Audrina’s ceiling eyes are.

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Apr 22 2009

American Idol: Top 7 Part Two Do…Err…Donna Summer?

Published by blondieenyc under american idol Edit This

Hey guys! So I actually got a writing gig which is why I’ve been so busy. I’ve decided to share with you my review of Idol last night. Yes, this would be the CLASSY side of Blondiee. Stay spoiled!

By now American Idol has become the boys competition proving even more last night that both Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are in it to win it. With the two most original contestants on the show performing near perfect renditions of their song choices the past few weeks, it’s safe to say that although Adam has a bit of an edge, Kris is right under his nose giving him a run for the Idol title.

However, according to host Ryan Seacrest, he claims Adam made Paula “melt into a pool of Abdul.” So it seems Kris better step it up and possibly go for the gold next week—hopefully melting the other female judge like the Wicked Witch of the West.

But even for a night of disco, many declined to take part in the uppity songs or cliché dance moves of the 70s. The night may as well have been renamed to “An Idol Night with Donna Summer” since half of the contestants decided to tackle the disco diva’s songs. Adam performed “If I Can’t Have You” from Saturday Night Fever with his own slow and powerful rendition as Allison Iraheta took on an odd, eerie arrangement of Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff.” Anoop Desai attempted and failed miserably with (you guessed it!) Donna Summer’s “Dim All the Nights” with Simon deeming it his worst performance yet “by a mile.”

Onwards with disco night, Kris Allen’s take on Summer’s hit “She Works Hard for the Money” sounded nowhere like the original and could be a hit for the ever improving guitarist. Kara claimed the song could even be on his album right now saying, “You took a real risk and it paid off big time.” Falling short of getting the crowd and show going, Lil Rounds belted out Chaka Kahn’s “I’m Every Woman,” proving the judges correct that she in fact is every woman, but herself. Simon predicted it will be “the last shot” for the girl whose hair seems to get longer and longer each episode. How DO they do it?

Simon, however, didn’t just tear Lil to shreds as he claimed Danny Gokey had “no star power” after his decent performance of Earth, Wind, and Fire’s “September.” Although Robert Downey Jr.’s twin is more than likely safe tonight, the competition is getting down to the wire and Gokey needs to up his swagger if he wants to stay. Matt Giraud looked a little desperate when he performed “Stayin’ Alive” from Saturday Night Fever basically stating that he’s praying to stay alive in this competition after almost being eliminated last week until the judge’s saved him. His vocals were on target with Randy proclaiming “You can really sing, dude!,” but the Justin Timberlake fedora hat and similar dance moves have got to go if this guy wants to be his own artist.

But even without mentors or those over-the-top clip reels for each contest, American Idol still almost ran over time last night. And it seems as though Idol may see the same Wednesday elimination night tonight as it did last week with Lil Rounds, Anoop Desai, and Matt Giraud hitting the bottom three. Question is—is Matt going to be “Stayin’ Alive” this time?

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Apr 21 2009

Kim Kardashian Has No Love For The BBW’s

Kim Kardashian is certainly not a fan of the BBW, ya’ll. Looks as though the big booty was a little pissed off when she opened the latest issue of Us Weekly (I’m SURE she wasn’t looking for herself or anything) and saw that her name and picture were underneath an article centered around Forever 21’s new “plus-sized” line for big chicas.

When the mag mentioned the new line, they insinuated that Kim was an uber fan of the new plus-sized clothing. So because she’s an attention whore and obviously wants to create some publicity for herself, she took to her official blog over the issue:

“I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a “fuller-figured woman” of extra large proportions is a little offensive.

For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.”

You know Kim’s going to be on the next episode of The Tyra Banks Show having an episode centered on people falsely accusing stars of their bodies type. She and Tyra will of course put on bikinis and prance around telling people to kiss their “fat asses!” while they claim they’re a size 2. Kim Kardashian is NOT a size two.

-C

KIMKARDASHIAN


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Apr 21 2009

Video of the Moment: Dancing Swedish Peens

This is basically my dream come true. Dancing peens for everyone!!! There’s even choreography and butt cheeks. What more could a bored girl at work ask for? It was a true pleasure stumbling upon this. If these mo’s were on Britain’s Got Talent you know they’d give Susan Boyle a run for her eyebrows.

-C

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Apr 21 2009

‘Slumdog’ Star’s Father Arrested After Allegedly Trying To Sell Her

If you’ve seen Slumdog Millionaire then you know the young actress, Rubina Ali who portrayed the young Latika. This is a really sad story because it’s been said that her father was trying to sell the nine-year-old for almost $300,000. Hmm, Angelina or Madonna perhaps? However, the father has been arrested. Rubina’s mother Khurshida learned from her eldest daughter of the “adoption” and immediately filed a complaint with Indian police.

Khurshida, who left her money-hungry husband in 2001 says:

“My elder daughter had informed me… I did not believe he would actually go through with it.”

Her father apparently had plans to sell her to a Dubai sheikh. The sheikh contacted Qureshi after learning about the movie’s Oscar success back in February. Since his wife was no longer able to have children, he wanted to adopt Rubina to become his own.

Qureshi claims he refused the sheikh’s generous offer the young girl. Standing by his claim, he says: >

“I politely said Rubina is happy with me and wanted to leave. After this they made an offer of money in English which I did not understand. Then they requested me to leave her there overnight and take her in the morning. I refused and took Rubina away with me.”

Well, Qureshi better pray to the fucking Gods of India because it’s now said there’s a video of the undercover operation in which reporters met with him and expressed interest in illegally adopting the young star. This kid is fucked regardless…money for kids…that’s great family values right there.

-C

THESUN


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Apr 17 2009

TBS (Total Babe Status): Chris Pine

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Need I say more? Chris Pine has been around for a little while now, but bitch is finally getting his due! Yes, working with Lindsay Lohan on that piece of shit movie Just My Luck probably wasn’t the wisest of career choices since standing within ten feet of her you could more than likely catch a fatal disease.  However, after Star Trek comes out, you know all of these Trekkies are going to pray to the Gods of Pine.  I mean, at this point, I’d even do it.  Anyway, here’s Chris being a babe in the recent issue of Vanity Fair.

-C

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Apr 17 2009

Hot Mess Alert!: Rupert Everett’s New FACE…eek!

jesusrupert1.jpg

What in the fucking hell did Rupert Everett do to his face? Sure, working on The Next Best Thing with Madonna was probably hell, but there’s no need to go out and get this fuckery of a face!!! I can’t even watch Dunston Checks In or My Best Friend’s Wedding without this image popping into my head! This is wrong wrong wrong!!!!! He looks like fucking Kevin Kline’s ugly younger brother.  Why, oh WHY, did you do this to me Rupert???

-C

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Apr 17 2009

Britney’s Gotta Stalker

britbritstalker1.jpg

No that’s not a Real World alum although it looks like one, I just can’t put my finger on who.  And no, that’s not a guy.  This bitch stalks Britney Spears! And of course even tried out for American Idol.  That show produces the crazy, I tell ya.

So meet 26-year-old, Miranda Tozier-Robbins who was arrested outside of Spears’ Calabasas home on Thursday morning after security caught that bitch “acting suspicious.”  Donned in army fatigues from head to toe, Miranda was spotted by security peeping into Brit’s window with a video camera in hand.  What a crazy BIA!

You know Sam Lufti is behind this bitch.  Security called police after the it “balked at their requests” to leave the property.  Her bail was set at $5K, but she was later released on the agreement that she will appear for a June 16th court date.  When the crazy stalk the crazy…

-C

TMZ

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Apr 17 2009

It’s Britney’s Tour And She’ll Ban If She Wants To!

Don’t fuck with a woman scorned–in this case, Britney Spears.  Currently dating her ex-husband? BAN! That’s what happened to that jungle beast who’s currently dating that other beast, Kevin Federline. 

Poor Victoria Prince is not allowed to join her current lov-ah on the road because Brit has banned that shit! An insider tells UsWeekly:

“Britney struck a deal with Kevin that Victoria couldn’t come.”

So what’s the deal? Is Britney jealous or does she believe Victoria’s out for his money which is her money? Victoria reportedly left her Fox Sports marketing position back in January and according to one source, Prince

“has some money issues. Kevin pays for everything.”

Um, so Britney’s paying for everything.  She’s even paying for their condoms, but I doubt they use that shit…hicks like that just get down and this bitch is welcoming it because of all the funds she’ll get from Federface.

-C

USMAGAZINE

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Apr 17 2009

She Should Have Just Said Winona

Gwyneth Paltrow finds time in her exhausting day (you know, working out for three hours and then talking about how she works out so much) to write about a “frenemy” she once was best friends in her latest GOOP newsletter.  I mean, gee, I wonder who the hell she’s talking about.  By the middle of this crap, you’d think she should have just tattooed Winona Ryder’s name on her forehead.

Gwyneth writes:

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hellbent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deept upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restained myself from fihting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and… happiness. There went the high road. So, why does it feel so good to hear something bad about someone you don’t like? Or someone you DO like? Or someone you don’t KNOW? I once asked the editor of a tabloid newspaper why all of the stories about a famous British couple had a negative bent. He said that when the headline was positive, the paper didn’t sell. Why is that? What’s wrong with us? I asked the sages to shed a little light.

Here’s to washing our mouths out with soap…

Love,
Gwyneth

I’d still choose Winona over her ass just because she banged nasties with Johnny Depp.  I’d force all of the little details out of her mouth then smack the shit out of her because of pure jealousy.

-C

GOOP

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